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RE: [IPk] DAFNE courses in the UK: free foods?

Thanks Elizabeth,

The tough thing was that when she was admitted once they knew what was
going on I got a message feed through from someone else and this is
still happening. Baby has club feet and someone has passed on some
helpful advice to me but I feel unable to voice my views now unless
asked (I know long term this will affect baby but I guess someone else
has to take responsibility).  

I am vocal but I don't think overpowering, maybe I am suffering from
oldest child syndrome! But having a child with Diabetes and having to
push to get the right care you soon realise that sitting back does not
work.  Hey ho, that's life.


-----Original Message-----
From: email @ redacted [mailto:email @ redacted] On
Behalf Of Elizabeth O'Shea
Sent: 26 June 2006 13:03
To: email @ redacted
Subject: RE: [IPk] DAFNE courses in the UK: free foods?

Marion, in that particular case you did the right thing! Clearly her
partner's mother doesn't know much about health matters: pre-eclampsia
kill. She should be on her knees thanking you for potentially saving her
grandchild's life and the life of the child's mother.


-----Original Message-----
From: email @ redacted [mailto:email @ redacted] On
Of Marion Malik
Sent: 26 June 2006 12:11
To: email @ redacted
Subject: RE: [IPk] DAFNE courses in the UK: free foods?

Hi Pat,

Totally agree that no one should sit back and in an ideal world wouldn't
be nice if we could share thoughts without others taking offence just
the comments as intended.

I have a friend who recently had a baby at 26 weeks, we went to the
marathon together as my husband ran for the second year (supporting
research and diabetes UK) anyway this friend was quite off colour, she
looked ghastly and didn't know at the time she was pregnant.  When we
said goodbye I insisted that her boyfriend get her checked out as she
delaying blood tests.  Two weeks later we find she was suffering from
eclampsia (bad spelling) , when I asked a few questions I was later told
that I was referred to a nosey busy body (similar words) by her partners
Mother and it was clear from the conversation that she thought the same.

I have rightly or wrongly decided that sometimes it just isn't worth
offering your view or opinions. I find it very sad as I, personally am
to share and listen, hence why I am here.



-----Original Message-----
From: email @ redacted [mailto:email @ redacted] On
Of Pat Reynolds
Sent: 23 June 2006 19:34
To: email @ redacted
Subject: Re: [IPk] DAFNE courses in the UK: free foods?

In message <email @ redacted
>, Marion Malik <email @ redacted> writes
>You did well to bite your lip; I am getting better at it.

I am obviously in a contentious mood tonight (when aren't I!).  Why is
it a good thing to remain silent when you see someone through negligence
or attempt (potentially) harming others?

Answers could be:
* self-protection
* it would do more harm to show the 'expert' up, as the others present
might ignore *good* advice on the basis that they can't be trusted

Wouldn't it be great if there was some way of supporting these mistaken
people in their learning, in a gentle, non-threatening way?

And don't mention the misguided friend .... I was going to say 'at least
they don't harm others', but by their actions and statements, they
influence other people, too.  It's just a lot more challenging to tell
them that you think they are harming themselves (or worse, their

So we need a 'what a friend wouldn't tell you' service, too.


Pat Reynolds
email @ redacted
   "It might look a bit messy now, 
                    but just you come back in 500 years time" 
   (T. Pratchett)
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