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Re: [IPr] Re: books on grieving

Dear Denise,
Please never feel sorry for sharing feelings. This is a wonderful way to
help with healing.
Yes I feel very similar. I have lupus, RA, a compromised immune system (no
it is not hiv or aids) CNS involvement from the lupus siezures etc. Yes I
am tired all of the time. I had a blessing this week because my daughter
came up and help me with some of the household chores which we (hubby and
I) have not been able to do ourselves. He has to help me to the bathroom
and does alot of caregiving and drives 2 hours one way to work plus we have
7 acres here to keep up. So we both are tired. It is so nice to have had
her 2 times this week to help me get some things organized.
So please don't feel bad. All we can do is what we are able. And if others
don't like it well that is thier problem then not mine. I have all I can do
to remember all my meds and try to stay alive and cope with the
breaktrhough pain I have. I wish I could run through my pasture here.
I have a dream. I have a chance to get a hand fed baby donkey- we have a
horse stable and there are no horses or anything living in it and I would
like to bring some life to this land.
I have been trying on cooler days (I am not allowed to be in the sun
because of the lupus but I do anyway) to have a garden but it is a small
garden. I cannot have birds because they are not a pet for those who are
immunocompromised but I would like this healthy baby doneky but maybe this
is a pipe dream. But at least I can still dream. If I were healthy there
would be no question..now..everything has to be thought about and most of
the time my doc says no because I couldn't handle it..so I almost have no
life..and lately I have been crying alot because I miss life. I love
people, children, animals etc. I was a respiratory therapist before all of
this mess hit me. I raised 3 children. I went through the empty nest
syndrom and thought this was suppose to be the best time of my life HA! NOT
it is always a struggle to walk- to deal with pain to keep up with
everything and to be honest I am becoming worn out and ready to go "home"
(Heaven). I believe in a quality of life but mine has none but this donkey
seems to be attracting me and I don't know what to do...I know I could feed
it but the rest would be something my hubby would have to help me out with
and I know he doesn't need anymore work. Maybe I am becoming a burden? I
was asking myself the other day at what point will I know when I need to be
in an assisitve living center..that would really take the rest of my life
out of me.
Well that is how things are with me. No one is able to fix me. So I keep on
keeping on the best I can :) 
Please don't feel bad for sharing. Life is tough for many of us..you aren't
If you wish to talk more you can contact me at
aol chat ID riverbijou
ICQ # 48743830
Have a great weekend!

At 07:25 PM 07/13/2000 -0400, you wrote:
>Dear Ginny,
>  I know what you mean!  I was diagnosed at age 15 months.  I am 35 now and
>have had diabetes now for 34 years as of June.  I never really thought about
>diabetes and its down sides until my adult life...when the complications
>started setting in!
>I too miss and grieve for the lost me.  The me that I was from age 18 to age
>25.  After age 25 I was first diagnosed with neuropathy.  Then at about age
>30 gastroparesis.  When I hit 33 they told me I had stage one renal disease.
>I miss the me that had energy and wasn't afraid of the future.  Now I am
>depressed and find it hard to accomplish things.  Is that how it is for you
>too?  I'd give anything to have even an ounce of the enregy I used to
>possess.  What I guess I need is some help getting organized!  I seem to
>have lost the ability to function outside of my diabetes.  I can manage the
>disease and also Heather's battle with it, but not the rest of my life.  Oh
>well I am sorry I seem to be babbling on and on!  Hope you all will forgive
>Love Always,
>for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
>send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml

for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml