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[IPr] What you can handle

To make a long story short, I recently wrote this to a
friend of mine who has a daughter with diabetes who is
not doing too well due to lack of self-care (as much
as I hate saying that).  I thought to share it here as

  When I was little, I always remember my grandma
telling me that God would never give me more than I
can handle.  Iíve decided that is a load of crap.  All
things consider, Iíve been able to roll with
everything Iíve been given to deal with in my life. 
Even though Iím frustrated with my diabetes, all
things considered, I deal with it well.  There are
others, such as J, C, my one uncle, and your daughter
(to name a few) that canít/donít handle it.  K (one of
my really good friendís from Camp (not diabetes)) and
I had many many discussions about diabetes especially
the summer of í98.  That summer, J, her aunt, was in
the end stage of kidney failure due to complications
from years of uncontrolled diabetes and her boyfriend
was diagnosis with type 2 right at the beginning of
the summer.  We spend many afternoons in the kitchen
together making meals, often by ourselves.  K would
often say how she would never be able to handle having
diabetes herself.  I would spend hours trying to
convince her she could (she is a very strong person). 
Eventually she did see my point and where I was coming
from.  I often asked her how she could remain so close
to J while she was slowly killing herself.  She would
say how it was Jís choice to live that way, and she
had to respect/accept it, and just enjoy the parts of
life that J still loved and could do. I really admire
K for being able to do that for J.  She was definitely
not an easy person to love unconditionally.  Although
K still loved J and was around her, I know it hurt her
(and the rest of her family and her friends) to see
her like that.  I could hear the pain in Kís voice
when she talked about the time J announced that she
was done being diabetic and was simply going to not
take any move insulin.  She eventually (before it was
too late) changed her mind.  She died that fall.  It
is so much harder being on the friend/relative side
than having diabetes yourself.  So many of the
comments and discussions K and I had with each other
that summer had lasting effects.  It wasnít really
until this May I was finally able to really understand
how she could accept standing by J as she slowly self
destructed.  A very good friend of mine is bulimic. 
Recently, she has not being doing that great.  I hate
seeing her hurt herself, yet I know I will keep being
around her and loving her.  Even though it does hurt
to see her hurting herself. 

However, while I don't "buy into" the "God won't give
you more than you can handle" theory, my faith in Him
was the only thing that got me through several rough
spots of my life, including things that were
caused/involved diabetes.  I don't question why my
faith becomes stronger for the reason, I view it is a
gift, and somethings just don't need explainations.

Maureen and Jude (who was named after the patron saint
of hopeless causes)

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