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Re: [IPp] kids with diabetes, coping and grieving process

Our daughter was just 8 when diagnosed and she was pretty depressed for
about 3 months afterwards. We were very concerned and felt we had little
emotional support from her team who were otherwise great. We were also
struggling to come to terms with the diagnosis and management in that time
and we felt it was important for us to allow Eleanor to grieve for her old
life and to express her feelings.
It helped her a lot to meet with other D children and families, and to focus
on what she had, not what she had lost. She has friends with autism,
deafness, and congential abnormalities so we would gently remind her that
she was not alone in having obstacles to surmount in life and had much to be
glad about.

I would say that Eleanor now copes well with her diabetes. We try to foster
the attitude that she is in control of it, not the other way around, and
that she can do anything she sets her mind to.

Overheard between herself and her younger sister:

sister: If I had a wish I would wish you didn't have diabetes. If you didn't
want it that is.
Eleanor: It's not so bad once you get used to it.

I'm sure that as she grows up there will be times when it bothers her more,
and I am sure that we will find that too. It makes sense that as her
understanding grows she will realise when her lifestyle/choices are slightly
different to her friends and it may well cause her grief. As soon as she was
diagnose I started thinking how will she get on at Uni (and how will I cope
with the worry) and when she comes to have children it will be the hospital
consultant led pregnancy for her, no choices about homebirth and midwive
care et al. Crazy I know!!

Liz mum to Eleanor, 10,  (dx 11/ 2002) pumping novorapid with minmed 512 and
6mm Quicksets since 20/10/04,
and to Hannah 7.5 (dairy and soya intolerant) and George 4 (dairy, soya and
gluten intolerant)
wife of Julian

> Our question:  Do you see your kids grieving over their diagnosis, or
> going through a process as they age?

> Do you find that your kids get different understandings of their disease
> as they grow?

 Does anyone have any information, books to
> recommend, or your own experiences?  I am so frustrated at the lack of
> it out there, that I would even be very happy to put all the info I can
> get into book form if there isn't one out there - and I certainly
> haven't found it!
> Please email me off list if you would like, or if you have something to
> share with the group feel free.  I am looking for any experiences or
> thoughts that you might have.  I know that I have worked with many
> families over the years in my practice and taught them about the stages
> of grieving, and the cycles that parents of kids with disabilities go
> through.  I think we also do some of that, but I have yet to get anyone
> to admit it.
> I really would appreciate all thoughts and information you may have.
> Thanks!
> Christy
> email @ redacted
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