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Re: [IP] Frustrated, need to vent!

 I think that if you could get your Hba1c down, your problems would be reduced.
Insulin is a very powerful drug and when not properly administered it can
magnify other problems.

 How to get it down would be simplified with a pump and CGM, but if your
insurance doesn't cover pumps and CGM's perhaps going on disability might be a
way to go. If you are on disability you should be able to get a pump a d CGMQ.


On Jan 25, 2014, at 2:35 AM, SomeoneSomewhere <email @ redacted> wrote:

> I don't post here much and I don't know who else to vent to so I hope 
> you all don't mind. Please keep in mind, I am not looking for judgement 
> for the choices I am making right now. If you have such, please keep 
> them to yourself.
> My diabetes (last a1c 9.9), neuropathy (lots of untreated pain), 
> gastroparesis (lots of untreated vomiting because I am limited to very 
> few foods 
> <http://www.emilysstomach.com/2013/01/gastroparesis-diet-from-mayo.html> 
> not to mention the food allergies I have), neurogenic bladder (peeing 
> myself all the time or cant pee at all) and my blood pressure etc are 
> all out of control. I have been to dr after dr trying to get help and as 
> one dr put it frankly, if I am not going to help myself (by losing 
> weight and getting my a1c down etc) there is nothing she can or will do 
> for me. This dr told me that she expects me to vigorously exercise for 
> the next 8 weeks until I see her again. I told her I need to take baby 
> steps and she huffed and said well when you are ready you just let me 
> know. I can't sit up without my blood pressure raising by 40-50 points 
> and it makes me woozy and so I have to stay in bed half the time. The 
> other half the time is because I am in so much pain, I am exhausted 
> because I sleep an hour or so at a time. I can't walk more than 30 yards 
> to take out my garbage without being out of breath and so exhausted when 
> I get back I fall asleep. My PCP called me into her office because she 
> has received similar letters from other dr's she has referred me to 
> lately. They have also boiled things down to my problems being 
> psychologically based.
> I do have an adrenal tumor which is sporadically producing 
> norepinephrine and my aldosterone levels are either borderline high or 
> almost nill. My cortisol level likewise is not giving consistent numbers 
> and I am waiting for a 24 hour cortisol test to come back. This is part 
> of the reason I am seeing so many specialists. I am convinced my 
> diabetes is so out of control because of my adrenal gland or some other 
> hormone causing things to truly be out of my control. Back in Sept, I 
> was forced into a psychiatric ward under the threat of being petitioned 
> by the court because my diabetes is out of control and it must be my 
> fault. I was screamed at twice by the medical doctor there for stealing 
> food, hiding food you name it.
> Several doctors suggested an insulin pump, however my insurance does not 
> cover one yet they cover the supplies. So I contacted the Charles Ray 
> III Association and they said they would sell me a refurbished one for 
> $1,360 cash. I am on disability and that is twice what I get a month, 
> and I don't qualify for a credit card. I have sold a lot of my things 
> trying to save for it but instead the money has gone to Glucerna. My 
> insurance won't pay for that either unless I have a feeding tube.
> My blood sugar has bordered on 600 many times in the last few months and 
> my blood pressure spikes puts me at imminent risk of a heart attack or a 
> stroke.
> I called my insurance about bariatric surgery and they said I don't 
> qualify because my BMI is slightly too low (34 and it has to be 35) and 
> because they require that I prove for 6 months that I exercise and I eat 
> fruits and veggies.
> I don't know what else to do except starve myself. In the last 10 days I 
> have eaten either nothing at all, including juice or glucerna or when I 
> have had a single Glucerna, I stop losing weight. I have lost some 
> weight but I am stuck and I have gained 2 lbs back from drinking 1 
> Glucerna a day the last 2 days. Honestly, I am contemplating taking meth 
> to lose weight, and I abhor drugs.
> On top of it all, I am quickly losing my vision. I can't even read a 
> book. My CDE gave me two paperbacks and I told her I couldn't read them 
> and she insisted that my vision will fluctuate and I will be able to 
> read them. I was so upset tonight I tore up one of those books. I would 
> have never done that ever before. I value books.
> I know this sounds drastic but I am going to die if I don't do something 
> and dr's wont help me. I have switched drs many times and I get this 
> same attitude from all of them. Either doctors are too ignorant and/or 
> lazy to see if something is wrong with me that is out of my control, or 
> something is essentially wrong with me and I don't deserve to be treated 
> and to live.
> I am just stuck between a rock and a hard place and I need help and no 
> one will help me. I really don't want to die.
> Again, not looking for judgement. Reasonable advice will be considered 
> but please keep in mind I have multiple extremely complicated things 
> going on.
> Louree
> .
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