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Re: [IP] Frustrated, need to vent!



 Add to tht, the inevitable? depression from being sick, and if your numbers are
so high/wild/fluctuating, you ARE seriously ill.

Keep reaching out, do you have a good friend or family member close by?

 Suggestion for exercise? I'm with you, you have to start slow/small.....how abt
some exercises that disabled people do? There are things to do while in a
chair(marching in place, arm weight, circle things )
 I would guess there are things to do in a less elevated position, like raising
arms or legs?

 Set a schedule and stick with it.....some people who are TV addicts start with
a half hr show, exercising thru the commercials etc, then expanding, with a goal
(down the road of course) of all but the commercials, then the whole show, no
breaks

 Perhaps some tumor or other thing is messing with the diabeasties, but the high
A1c's certainly are messing with other systems, like vision fluctuations,
gastro, etc., and YOU have to do SOMETHING to aim for bettering
yourself/life......no one else can do THAT

 Take care, reach out here and try to take small steps in the right direction
(healthy)

 I am biting my tongue on the docs, but hope something positive (treatable)
comes of their testing etc

MichelleS


> On Jan 25, 2014, at 4:35 AM, SomeoneSomewhere <email @ redacted> wrote:
> 
> I don't post here much and I don't know who else to vent to so I hope 
> you all don't mind. Please keep in mind, I am not looking for judgement 
> for the choices I am making right now. If you have such, please keep 
> them to yourself.
> 
> My diabetes (last a1c 9.9), neuropathy (lots of untreated pain), 
> gastroparesis (lots of untreated vomiting because I am limited to very 
> few foods 
> <http://www.emilysstomach.com/2013/01/gastroparesis-diet-from-mayo.html> 
> not to mention the food allergies I have), neurogenic bladder (peeing 
> myself all the time or cant pee at all) and my blood pressure etc are 
> all out of control. I have been to dr after dr trying to get help and as 
> one dr put it frankly, if I am not going to help myself (by losing 
> weight and getting my a1c down etc) there is nothing she can or will do 
> for me. This dr told me that she expects me to vigorously exercise for 
> the next 8 weeks until I see her again. I told her I need to take baby 
> steps and she huffed and said well when you are ready you just let me 
> know. I can't sit up without my blood pressure raising by 40-50 points 
> and it makes me woozy and so I have to stay in bed half the time. The 
> other half the time is because I am in so much pain, I am exhausted 
> because I sleep an hour or so at a time. I can't walk more than 30 yards 
> to take out my garbage without being out of breath and so exhausted when 
> I get back I fall asleep. My PCP called me into her office because she 
> has received similar letters from other dr's she has referred me to 
> lately. They have also boiled things down to my problems being 
> psychologically based.
> 
> I do have an adrenal tumor which is sporadically producing 
> norepinephrine and my aldosterone levels are either borderline high or 
> almost nill. My cortisol level likewise is not giving consistent numbers 
> and I am waiting for a 24 hour cortisol test to come back. This is part 
> of the reason I am seeing so many specialists. I am convinced my 
> diabetes is so out of control because of my adrenal gland or some other 
> hormone causing things to truly be out of my control. Back in Sept, I 
> was forced into a psychiatric ward under the threat of being petitioned 
> by the court because my diabetes is out of control and it must be my 
> fault. I was screamed at twice by the medical doctor there for stealing 
> food, hiding food you name it.
> 
> Several doctors suggested an insulin pump, however my insurance does not 
> cover one yet they cover the supplies. So I contacted the Charles Ray 
> III Association and they said they would sell me a refurbished one for 
> $1,360 cash. I am on disability and that is twice what I get a month, 
> and I don't qualify for a credit card. I have sold a lot of my things 
> trying to save for it but instead the money has gone to Glucerna. My 
> insurance won't pay for that either unless I have a feeding tube.
> 
> My blood sugar has bordered on 600 many times in the last few months and 
> my blood pressure spikes puts me at imminent risk of a heart attack or a 
> stroke.
> 
> I called my insurance about bariatric surgery and they said I don't 
> qualify because my BMI is slightly too low (34 and it has to be 35) and 
> because they require that I prove for 6 months that I exercise and I eat 
> fruits and veggies.
> 
> I don't know what else to do except starve myself. In the last 10 days I 
> have eaten either nothing at all, including juice or glucerna or when I 
> have had a single Glucerna, I stop losing weight. I have lost some 
> weight but I am stuck and I have gained 2 lbs back from drinking 1 
> Glucerna a day the last 2 days. Honestly, I am contemplating taking meth 
> to lose weight, and I abhor drugs.
> 
> On top of it all, I am quickly losing my vision. I can't even read a 
> book. My CDE gave me two paperbacks and I told her I couldn't read them 
> and she insisted that my vision will fluctuate and I will be able to 
> read them. I was so upset tonight I tore up one of those books. I would 
> have never done that ever before. I value books.
> 
> I know this sounds drastic but I am going to die if I don't do something 
> and dr's wont help me. I have switched drs many times and I get this 
> same attitude from all of them. Either doctors are too ignorant and/or 
> lazy to see if something is wrong with me that is out of my control, or 
> something is essentially wrong with me and I don't deserve to be treated 
> and to live.
> 
> I am just stuck between a rock and a hard place and I need help and no 
> one will help me. I really don't want to die.
> 
> Again, not looking for judgement. Reasonable advice will be considered 
> but please keep in mind I have multiple extremely complicated things 
> going on.
> 
> Louree
> .
> Follow us at https://www.twitter.com/insulinpumpers
> Make a long URL short at http://type1.org
.
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