[Previous Months][Date Index][Thread Index][Join - Register][Login]
  [Message Prev][Message Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]

[IP] RE: contradictins, or is it really that bad

Cuzzin Dee wrote:

...I hope you are always able to keep your attitude positive when you are
dealing with diabetes (and the rest of your life), but if you're ever
struggling with D. and feeling down, I would like you to be able to come
here and get support. For many of us it really is that bad, at least
sometimes.  Even if you never need that........please please understand that
others do. Just telling someone to have a positive attitude is not helpful
or supportive.

Well said!  I have scanned this thread with a bit of interest, and also a bit
of disappointment.  We are here to gain encouragement, new ideas, to share and
to vent, good times and bad, not to bend one another to a certain way of

Living with D is not always a picnic.  I remember when I was Jacqui's
age...although I had had my share of hospitalizations in DKA, I was still
healthy and thought I would live forever, that the potential complications
would bypass me.  I was a student, a closet carboholic, and who knows what my
bgs were running, since we didn't have the benefit of glucose monitors in
those days, we ran chemistry experiments in our bathrooms and boiled our
syringes!  Of course, when I was in college, the chemistry tests didn't happen
because I was living with other folks and might have to admit and acknowledge
I had diabetes.

Then when I was 24, I had a very serious kidney infection, and for the first
time faced the possibility that I might be looking at diminished function.
Within 12 months, I submitted to this thing called the insulin pump - I was a
guinea pig (one of my endo's first pumpers), but I thought it was a fertility
device, since I got pregnant within 10 days of starting the pump.   My a1c was
14 when I hooked up...fortunately, I dropped to under 6 during my pregnancy,
and my daughter was fine when she was born.  I had laser surgery at 6 months
pregnant, couldn't see well for a while, but I held on.

My mom thought I'd be dead at 35 beecause of D.  I've made it a decade beyond
that (and hope to add a few more decades), have not suffered from any
additional serious complications in the intervening years.  I made a decision
that I was going to take the best possible care of myself because of my child,
and have worked hard for the most part during the intervening years (my
daughter is now 19) to achieve that.  There have been times, though, when I
suffered from burnout.  I get tired of checking my bloods, constantly running
in my mind what affect this or that carb is going to have, hoping, praying,
and fantasizing what my life would be life without this dreaded disease, since
I can't recall my life without it.

But I can't and won't give up.  I'm one of the lucky ones.  I've got good
genes, but that doesn't mean I can rest on my laurels.  I'm just trying to get
through this particular season, a day at a time.  And keep hope alive in my
heart to do all those other things...see my grandchildren come into the world,
get my daughter educated, reach retirement age. grow old with my husband.

We keep the faith, but we are allowed to get mad at this stupid disease, to
rant and to rave at this thing that steals the quality of our life.  I visit
that sad place and have a pity party now and then, but I also try to be sure I
don't take up permanent residence.  I've been lucky.

Sorry I've rambled and bounced a bit here...I think the hypos I've been having
(weird seasonal - my endo's never seen it in the 20,000 patients he's treated)
are affecting my brain.

Kathy Fagan
Dx 10/68, pumping 12/17/82
for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml