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[IP] RE: contradictins, or is it really that bad

Date: Fri, 27 Sep 2002 08:56:57 -0700
From: "Jacqui Hall" <email @ redacted>
Subject: Re: [IP] Re: contradictions, or is it really that bad

>You are correct, there are some cancers that are curable or go into
>but there are some that aren't as well. I had a high school friend >that 
>diagnosed with cancer, wasn't even treatable, spread throughout his >body 
>died 6 months after diagnoses. I would much rather be diagnosed with >a 
>disease like diabetes then one like aids where you pretty much know >that 
>you are going to die and most aids deaths are not very pleasant.

First of all, just a point of information and a little HIV education: This 
is not a contest! No one wants to have HIV any more than anyone wants to 
have diabetes. But not everyone who gets HIV "is going to die" any more than 
each person in the universe  is going to die. Like with diabetes, there are 
treatments available with which many many people with HIV live long happy 
years and do not develope AIDS. Like people with diabetes, people with HIV 
have to take care of themselves in a way that people without it do not. Like 
people with HIV, people with diabetes have to do things to maintain their 
health that most people never think about.
But people with HIV can forget about it now and then (as long as they 
remember to take their meds on time), those of us with diabetes must be 
aware of it on some level 24/7/365.
This need to be constantly aware has become a habit for me but uses energy 
I'd rather put to better uses and is, for me, one of the big negatives about 
living with diabetes.

>Instead of having such a negative attitude against something that is >going 
>to be with us for the rest of our lives but something that we >do have some 
>sort of control over,

True for some of us some of the time. There are those of us who work very 
hard at and have good control over our bgs and STILL have horrendous and 
life threatening complications.

>we should have a positive attitude and learn to live with it and >accept 

That is fine for you at this time. That does not make it fine for ALL of us. 
It is essential to remember that YMMV (your mileage may vary).

>There are so many worse things in life that can happen, for starters, >we 
>could've died instead of being diagnosed with diabetes, we could >have been 
>a vegetable or lost all movement of our bodies and have to >spend the rest 
>of lives in a wheel chair that we control via our >mouth or one arm which 
>is the only arm that moves.

Because there are things that you consider worse than diabetes does not make 
it a fact for all of us. And again, it is not a contest....my disease is 
worse than your disease thinking. Please respect our individual differences. 
Many people have serious medical problems caused by their diabetes. And just 
because others might have worse problems does not negate the seriousness of 
an individual's problems.

>I have one child and one on the way and I know that their chances for
>getting diabetes is a little higher, but it's not like 100% higher or 
> >anything and I am prepared if they do by the unfortunate chance, get 
> >diabetes because I have lived with it and gone through so many things >so 
>I will be able to provide support for them as well.

And if their feelings and attitudes and problems are negative and/or 
different than yours.....will you still be able to support them in a way 
that will be helpful to them  where they are at that specific time?

>We all need to wake up and look at our attitude and change it. We >have to 
>think, okay, I have diabetes (or so and so has diabetes) and >we have to 
>live it with and deal with it, we can't change that, so am >I going to have 
>a negative attitude towards it, feel sorry for myself >and let it effect my 
>disease, my life and my children for the rest of >my life, or am I going to 
>accept it, deal with it and say okay, I >have diabetes but I am going to 
>control it the best that I can and >pray that things go well?

I do not feel that I need to wake up and look at and change my attitude. I 
have a condition that most people do not have. I work hard every day to 
control it as well as I possibly can. There are times that I get very very 
tired of working so hard at it.  Though my bgs are far from always perfect, 
I do a very good job at keeping them within reason. My A1c has run in the 
mid-5%s (without many lows and (knock on wood) none that require help from 
others  since I started pumping. I am determined to live as "normal" 
(whatever that is) a life as I can. There is very little, if anything, that 
I personally would do if I didn't have D. that I don't do now. I am an 
active contributing member of society.

BUT! This is not easy. Diabetes is difficult.  Many things that my peers do 
without a second thought take a lot of planning and work for me. I make a 
zillion more decisions a day than those without D. do. I've lost the freedom 
to be as spontaneous as I would be if I didn't have diabetes, I (we) have to 
always be aware of what I am eating and my level of activity. I (we) deal 
with infusion sets, ordering supplies, sticking  fingers with a sharp 
instrument several times (12ish) per day, avoid walking barefoot (difficult 
for ME, I love bare feet), worry about potential infections every time I get 
a cut or am exposed to anyone with a contagious disease, the ability to get 
insurance, the ability to avoid complications or deal with them when they 
occur,  maintain my health and continue to work, etc. I could continue for 
much longer, but will stop here because I'm sure you get my point.
These issues are all part of my life. I could just stick my head in the sand 
and  ignore them, but I am a realist, so I don't.

I'm very fortunat that most days are great and I am happy and feel both 
physically and emotionally healthy. But there are times that diabetes 
presents me with some difficult issues to deal with. Sometimes I might HATE 
diabetes with a passion. I might be angry that this is the hand I was dealt. 
I might just be sick to death of the constant struggle with things that come 
so easily for others (like eating a pizza without struggling with how to 
deal with it insulin-wise). I might feel down/depressed. These might not be 
earth shattering matters, but they are real feelings that are not always 
positive. Sometimes they are very negative. If I cannot come to this list 
with my negative feelings about diabetes because list members feel that I 
SHOULD have a positive attitude about diabetes........well, I'll just quit 
this list because I will need it most when I am having a problem and  need 

Sorry for rambling on for so long, but I (obviously) feel very strongly 
about this. :-)

I hope you are always able to keep your attitude positive when you are 
dealing with diabetes (and the rest of your life), but if you're ever 
struggling with D. and feeling down, I would like you to be able to come 
here and get support. For many of us it really is that bad, at least 
sometimes.  Even if you never need that........please please understand that 
others do. Just telling someone to have a positive attitude is not helpful 
or supportive.
Cuzzin Dee

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