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[IP] Complications etc.

I am 53 years old and I have diabetes. It's none of my mother's business what 
my control is like or what the results of my tests are. If I want to tell 
her, that's my business. Sometimes I choose to; sometimes I don't. She has 
the courtesy not to pry. 

I also have a 33-year-old daughter who has diabetes. It's none of my business 
how she handles her diabetes. If she wants my advice on anything, she will 
ask and I will answer her questions. 

I also have no control over how she raises her children (my grandchildren). I 
can make suggestions, but she does not have to follow them. They don't have 
diabetes (thank goodness), but I'd like to get their hair cut. Their mother 
says "no." So be it. I don't like the way she lets them dress, either, but I 
can only monitor that when they are staying with me. So be it.

It might behoove you to realize that your daughter is an adult in charge of 
her own life and that her daughter is hers to raise. And accept that.

Jan and Elvis

In a message dated 9/27/02 11:19:13 AM US Eastern Standard Time, 
email @ redacted writes:

 I am even more frustrated that I, as the grandparent of a Type I dx'd one 
year ago, have absolutely NO CONTROL over any of my g-daughter's diabetes 
issues, much less her mother who has had Type I for 32 years.  I wish my 
daughter was as attentive to her diabetes and my g-daughter's as you all are. 
 I asked her 2 or 3 times what the results of their A1C's were that were 
taken almost 1 month ago and she can't seem to find the time to call and ask 
the doctor.  She said "if they're bad - they'll let me know".  Like she 
doesn't care - she isn't even curious.  They both went on the pump this past 
July and it would be nice to know if their A1C's have improved being on the 
pump.  I wish she belonged to this list or !
 the parents of diabetes.com list that I am also on - but she homeschools 
because of my g-daughter's diabetes and puts 100% of her energy into that.  
She's almost obsessed with it - they way I am obsessed with quality of life 
for diabetes and these mailing lists.   But I have absolutely no power or 
choice in these matters.  It's very frustrating.  It's good in one way she 
doesn't make D her life's work or obsess about it - but there should be a 
happy medium.  Any suggestions to help me deal with all this and keep what 
little sanity I'm hanging on to?  Thanks  
 Tammy, mom to Joely, dx'd 1970; g-ma to Emma, dx'd 2001; both pumping 7-18-02
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