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Re: [IP] fear does not work

I have read everybody's posts on this subject with great interest.  My only
two cents is that I watched my mother kill herself by not taking care of
herself.  She just refused to accept her condition.  She ate as she pleased,
did not exercise, did not count carbs, do exchanges or calories or anything.
Every so often she'd inject insulin.  I don't know how she calculated how
much she needed.  We all tried to help, but you know the punch line to the
old joke?  "How psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?"
 Answer -- "The lightbulb has to really want to change."

After her death from a massive heart attack (we think it was a heart attack
anyway, it's a long story) I thought, "please let this not happen to me".

So, I every time I test, everytime I bolus, or reset my basals, exercise, or
do anything in conjunction with managing my disease, I think about her.  I
keep remembering that I would like to see my grandchildren and that my
husband and daughter need me.  I keep remembering that I would like to make
it past 70, at least, which neither of my parents did.  It's not so much
fear, as it is about struggling to do better.  And it's not about "blaming"
my mother, but accepting responsibility for taking care of myself, and
feeling so sad that she never could.

"Peace to this meeting"
Henry V

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