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[IP] fear does not work

Kay wrote:
>we need to find ways to gently steer our daughter towards being 
> more responsible for her D. Having the knowledge of how serious 
> complications can be,  will help us teach her. I believe that scaring 
> her would be wrong and probably not effective at this age. 

While I feel so much for Rodney and all the crap he is enduring, as well as 
Jan with her dialysis and Fran with her gastro and burns, and everyone else 
who has complications from diabetes (myself included), I agree with Kay that 
it would be wrong to use scare tactics

I was diagnosed at 10 1/2 and at age 12, I was hospitalized to get 
"regulated." They insisted on scaring the bejeezus outta me, with words and 
graphic pictures, in an effort to MAKE me realize what I was up against.  
WRONG tactic for me, I shut down completely and ignored my diabetes til my 
eyes started to bleed.  Seeing photographs of amputated legs and watching 
someone take dialysis and then turning to the child and saying, THIS COULD BE 
their mortal core and should NOT ever be invoked!!!!  

LIFE is scary enough as it is and any parent that teaches it is a bed of 
roses is wrong, in my childless opinion.  Just cuz you work hard, do your 
homework and keep your blood sugar under 140 does not guarantee you a 6 
figure income or a complication free life.  But what is VITAL, is to learn 
how to live, WITHOUT fear, how to cope with what what you get in this crap 
shoot...and for us, that goes for Diabetes as well. We need to be taught how 
to make STRONG, CONFIDENT choices (and not just with Diabetes things), as 
well as what the consequences will be if we make WEAK choices (and again, not 
just with Diabetes!).  

I hope no one (incluidng me) ever has to go through with Rodney is faced 
with, or Jan, or Fran...but we must not let FEAR be our motivator.  Fear 
holds us back and keeps us from acting or from feeling self confident.  It is 
not fear that keeps a a little kid from pulling a pot of boiling water off 
the stove a second time, it is the awareness that either mom's hand will slap 
the back of their butt, or the awareness of just how HOT boiling water on 
your face can be.  It is not fear that keeps me from eating habanero peppers, 
it is the awareness that there is NEVER enough milk to quench the ensuing 
fire!  Fear paralyzes....So don't scare...teach, and provide knowledge - we 
have so much technology available to us now!!

As we have recently discussed, they are closer to preventing diabetes in 
future generations than they are to curing it...Parents of tomorrow won't 
have to scare kids with what might happen...won't have to teach your newly 
diagnosed children to count carbs and threaten them with blindness anymore.  
Life will be a much more edible bowl of chocolate covered cherries.  Parents 
can concentrate on the evils of drugs, premarital sex and conservative right 
wing politics instead of diabetes, and what a joy I am sure that will be.

Sara who ate too many peppers last night....
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