[Previous Months][Date Index][Thread Index][Join - Register][Login]
  [Message Prev][Message Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]

[IP] Moms as control freaks. (Long)

D2oceans writes:

> << I was dx'ed at the age of 7.  I was in Camp Fire, when I was in
> school.   My main problem there was never the group leader or the other kids
> in our small group - it was my mother.  (Actually, my mother is still my
> problem.)
> I was not allowed to leave the house without her, even if I was with a
> friend's parent, a teacher, or even my own dad.
> She is ten times worse now that I am older and can do things independently.
> She *hates* the fact that I have a wonderful job in downtown Boston which I
> love.  If I'm more than two minutes late doing *anything*, she calls 911 to
> go looking for me.
> Days when I just don't feel like eating (and those days are fairly frequent
> with Addison's Disease) she argues with me that I have to eat more because
> of the insulin pump.  Of course, when it benefits her, I don't have to eat
> on time anymore.  She's constantly telling me to turn the
> pump off, because
> she doesn't want to listen to the clicking.
> Does anyone else here have to deal with a parent like that?
> Weird Jenn
> email @ redacted
- ----------------------------------------------------------
All Of these parents are assailed by guilt and need psychotherapy.  When I
developed diabetes, my mom was so upset she came to me and said: "Is Elaine
trying to poison you, why do you have diabetes?" then she asserted that I was
alcoholic along with Elaine, my wife at that time because we enjoyed an
occasional bottle of wine, once a week or so.
Although we both shrugged it off, my wife actually hated my mom so she made up
a play in which she would act with a dagger, pretending to kill me. After the
initial  shock wore off, she called us every few days to see how I was. When I
was hospitalized after an unconscious period on the NYC subway. She told
Elaine she was not taking good care of me which only made tempers flair and my
wife to sweat cobra venom.  I told my mom to go home. she lived in Philly and
we lived in a NJ suburb of NYC. She kept calling and trying to find out
anything about my health. I learned to take the phone away from Elaine and
answer her questions. Finally I told her, "Every you want to call about my
health, call your shrink." I realized, she was just doing what moms do. you
can't diss your mom, you are still her baby no matter how old you are. It is a
horrible thing to lose a parent but it is so many times worse to lose a child.
Diabeasties sucks, but alhough we all must die, diabetes moves our doomsday
clock ahead.
Although my kids no longer have a mom, I try to function in that role for
them. And it is not easy, I even worry everytime my son in law goes to
work(Police Officer).Cut your moms some slack. Sometimes just telling them
that you have a support network at home or close to home will help. Tell them
that you will be the first to know and that they will be second. also "You
raised me to be independant and you did a great job." is often helpful.
A. L. Bender, M. D.
email @ redacted
for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml