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Re: [IP] low blood sugars AAARGGGGHHH!!! (loong)

Hi Cherry,

THANK YOU!  I know this parent appreciated your sincere expression of

My daughter is 13, has been pumping for 2.5 years, and experienced a profound
change in her lifestyle. I was so excited about pumping I developed a website,
and started an insulin pumpers support group here in Nova Scotia.  I have been
a member of the IP for 4+ years now and yes it is a wonderful haven.

That doesn't change the fact that Erica has to live with diabetes day in and
day out.  She really can't remember what it was like to be dragged into the
house for injections and to follow schedules all the time.  Her transistion to
pumping was relatively easy and its benefits immediate.  Being her mom, I
think I probably love her pump more than she does as she forgets how bad it
was, she just knows she has to live it day in and day out.  When it is good,
it is very good......when things go wrong...AAARRGGHHH!

One night she was having a particularly bad time with sugars and I  I urged
her to do a site change.  Between her high sugars, and my wanting to drag my
butt to bed, we were not the most pleasant duo.  Hey, we're human:)  I was in
the home office winding down on some work for the insulin pumpers support
group meeting and she came in like a bear with a burr up his *** and said  "I
Hate Site Changes!".  My first thought was to calm her down and remind her
that they happen every 3 days as opposed to 4-5 needles a day.  Instead, I
looked at her and told her I didn't blame her for hating site changes.  I
wished she never had to do it either.  I told her I hated diabetes too and
gave her a big hug and started to cry.  Well then she started crying too.  It
felt sooo good.  As she settled down, she went on to say that she didn't
really hate diabetes, and because she was pumping so many things had happened
to her that she would have not have experienced otherwise.  Oh My God!  MY
words were coming out of HER mouth!!!  Saying how great pumping was and how
she got to do things she would never have done if she was not diabetic.  Me
and my silver lining.  Hearing her say those things REALLY got to me.  She had
every right to hate diabetes, pumping, site changes, glucometers, doctors,
ketostix.......you name it.  She was now trying to make me feel
better......which made me feel worse!!!  So, we ended up cuddled together in
her bed for a little while, and we had a wonderful talk/cry/laugh session.
Exhausting, but soooo great.  She was SO entitled to her anger and
frustration. She needed someone to listen to her.

The next morning, thankfully, she was back to being my butterfly.    She is 13
yrs old and a HORMONE WITH FEET, evidenced by her steadily increasing basal
rates, and with or without diabetes she can turn from a powder puff to a polar
bear <VBG>.  It is just sooo important as a parent to try and balance things.
Hearing your lament about your parents, who no doubt do love you to
distraction, is a wonderful reminder to me of what NOT to do no matter how
difficult it is.  It doesn't make it any easier for us to let Erica take risks
and travel out of town with friends for 4 days YIKES (she had to call us once
a day and my cellphone was on 24 hours a day), but it does reinforce with me
that fact that it is so necessary to let her grow.  She is entiltled to hate
diabetes, and hate pumping for that matter, but as her mom, I will try to help
her mature in a way that allows her to deal with her frustrations.

On a bad day she is entitled to grouch, as were you.  Thankfully, that
horrible feeling of a low blood sugar, or a high blood sugar, does pass.  For
her sake I hope the good times, and the silver linings will outweigh the bad
moments and that she will gain strength to deal with things as she grows up.
I will be printing out your email and putting it in my 'binder' which now
numbers in the HUNDREDs of pages and is actually TWO binders now.  It holds
information, emails, letters, that I have been gathering from the IP for 4
years.  Yours is a KEEPER.

Hope you are feeling better soon :)

Barb, mom to Erica, A Canadian Butterfly
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