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[IP] low blood sugars AAARGGGGHHH!!!

This morning I woke up with blood sugars in the 40's. Of course I didn't have
anything real handy to treat it with. I don't have any glucose tablets, I
didn't have any juice, not even any candy. The only thing I did have was plain
old granulated sugar. Now I have a migraine from !@#? and I am very nauseous.
I hate this feeling. And of course my family does not understand why I feel
this way. I totally wish non-d's would at least try to understand what we are
going through. They have no clue how it feels to go through this. My dad is
always telling people how much better I am doing, and so when I am having
these type of days, everybody expects me to be all sunshine and roses. I feel
like just shutting myself in my room and letting the world pass me by today,
but if I do, then my dad blows a gasdket. I swear he forgets that I am 24
years old, and that I am not a child anymore. I know, I know. I am his only
daughter, and the youngest of three, so I will always be his baby. But when I
have the days that I just want to sit down and bawl for no reason. He yells at
me to grow up and act my age. Or he sarcastically asks me how old I said I
was. I know he loves me, and I know that he feels frustrated because he cannot
help me, but his frustration turns into anger and it just makes the situation
all the worse. My honorary grandma and grandpa (The shoulder's that I use to
cry on a lot) tell me to just be patient with him, that he is dealing with
this in his own way. Well, how patient am I supposed to be. I have been
diabetic for 10 1/2 years now. He should have learned to live with it a long
time ago. When I am having good days, my parents don't want me to do anything
strenous because I might hurt myself or flare up my diabetes. They tell me
that they want me to have a normal life. How am I supposed to have one if they
don't treat me normal? Sometimes I just want to throw all of my supplies in
the fireplace and have a nice bonfire with them and just give up on all of it,
but then I think of all of those that love me, and that I love and I know that
I cannot do it. Up until I was 21 the only way I could talk to my dad and be
taken serious was if I wrote him a letter. Anytime I tried to talk to him, he
would either get mad and start yelling at me, which would make me cry then he
would yell all the more at me for daring to cry, or he would just laugh. He
takes me serious now, but he still gets mad at me for the littlest things. I
can't really talk to my mom about it anymore, she is not in the world's
greatest health, and so when I do start talking about it, she starts
complaining of how ornery dad and I are being. I can't drive, so I can't
really go anywhere to just get away. If I don't let mom and dad know where I
am every 15 min. or so, they start to panick. I can't even go into my bedroom
to lie down unless I let them know what I am doing. I would go down and stay
with my brother, but he does not have the room for me, and he has enough
problems of his own. I do not want to burden him with more. And I have had
quite a few health care professionals warn me not to be by myself for longer
than a day. When we were living down in the valley, and my parents had to go
somewhere, they had the neighbors come and check on me! I just don't know what
to do anymore. I try to keep a happy face on most of the time, but with what
has been going on in NY and DC and the rest of the world, it is just getting
harder and harder to do. I do not want to do anything that gets my dad mad,
after all I do have to live with him and mom, and he has had both knees
replaced with the last 1 1/2 years, and like I said, mom is not in good
health, she is probably going to have to have her gallbladder out and probably
also her appendix. Then in a year or so, she needs to have neck surgery or she
is going to become paralyzed. And my dad is going in after the first of the
year and having his shoulder opperated on. So I know they are both in pain.
Well, anyway, thanks for listening. You guys are a great group, and I
appreciate all of the support and wonderful advice that I have gotten from all
of you.
Take care all!


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