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[IP] Getting discouraged any ideas

I am 30 , Diabetic 17 years no big complications - and very grateful, but I seem to have come up against a mental block rather than a physical one in regards to maintaing good sugars.  I have been pumping almost two years and still have not had a perfect A1c and still feel vaguely like I am not sure what my ratios are etc.  I want to have children and do it with the best sugars possible, I know if I could just eat the same thing everyday with a certain countable amount of carbs etc I could probaly get sugars under tighter control, but I seem to pick at sugarfree candy just after a meal or have too many equals in my tea and end up shooting higher than the bolus I took for the meal - it is almost liek I am in denial about what I am putting in my mouth.  One sugarfree candy is a free food - 10 is not!! Am I crazy or what?

Venting Alexandra 

Alexandra Kelly
230 Riverside Drive 
Apartment 12B
New York, NY 10025
212 665 0855
email @ redacted

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