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[IP] a mom's anguish...vent

I'm sitting here, crying and wondering how I am going to do it.  Josh crashed 
really hard tonight, well the hardest he has crashed in a very long time.  He 
wanted to try testing with his arm on his Freestyle so his BG at dinner at 
and bedtime were on the low side of good.  So he ate his food/snack and 
bolused appropriately, making an adjustment for the lowish BGs.  Then at 9PM 
the room started to spin and he started to fall.  This is about an hour after 
he ate his snack and was getting ready for bed.  Rechecked using his 
finger....24... He literally fell into my arms and I sat him down, got him to 
drink a juice box and a few rolls of Smarties.  Funny he was laughing and 
making jokes throught his whole process, like it was funny that the room was 
spinning (I know, he wasn't really thinking)  Finally got him to where he 
could walk the few steps into his bed where the room was still spinning and 
then numbness was starting.  This is a new symptoms for Josh now.  Big 
Headache kicks in and he wants to be comforted while he tries to go to 
sleep.....This is on top of the fact that it looks like those big 'mosquito' 
bites that he got last week, might not be mosquitos after all because on his 
outer thigh he now has a HUGE bulls eye and no one knows what it might be.  
He is on a strong antibiotic and we are going to go back in for a blood test 
for Lymes disease the end of next week.  It is best to test about 2 weeks 
after onset of symptoms, more accurate results.  So now I have that to worry 
about too.

  Well, I guess I feel like I am falling apart and don't know what to do.  I 
have to be strong for Josh and I don't want to alarm him in any way about any 
of this.  And when he has these episodes of hypos (Thank goodness it  doesn't 
happen very often) it really brings to light just what it is he is going to 
have to be dealing with for the rest of his life.  And speaking as a mother I 
can't handle that very well.  That goes against the laws of nature for a 
mother, to know that her child is not going to be 'healthy' for his whole 
life and may be looking at the possibility of numerous compications, well, 
I'm sorry folks but I can't handle it right now.  This is one mom who is 
feeling frustrated, scared, confused (WHY my son??!!!) and I don't like 
feeling this way!  I wish, just for one moment, that I could take it all 
away, even take it into myself, so that Josh, my only child, can live like a 
'normal' child again, even for a moment.  No pokes, no counting carbs, no 
pump attached, no hypos or highs, none of this...just for a moment!!!!  Or 


mom to Joshua...the bravest boy I know...my hero!
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