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[IP] I want to scream and cry!

Hi all:
I need to vent here for a while.

For about a month now, I have been having trouble breathing.  Dr. finally
gave me rx to go get chest xray last Thurs.

In between all of this, my b.g. have been all over the place as usual making
me feel totally horrible (not the exact word I would use but am being nice

Well, Mon. night I wound up in e.r. room with back/chest pains with cold
sweats.  B.g. was fine.

After being there for 4 hrs., having had ekg, blood work up, nitro, x ray
and being monitored and nothing wrong, they wanted to do another blood test
and admit me.  I asked the dr. if anything was wrong and he said no for
observation and I told him I want to go home.  So I promised to follow up
with my dr. which I did and just got home.

My dr. is my endo as well as my family dr.  Chest xray was fine and she
didn't get all copies of hospital e.r. reports so she didn't have a full

But, right away, it's back to my heart. Grrrr...I had an angiogram done
three years ago and all was perfect and I'm still paying off my 20% of
$1,300 and will probably be paying it until I die!  She wants me to go back
to cardiologist.  Here we go again!

She is sending me for a lung scan to make sure there are no blood clots and
if that comes up clear, then I have to go to lung specialist for breathing
tests.  (granted I have smoked for too many years) but I have cut back
considerably, like down to less than a half a pack a day and a lot of those
burn out while I'm busy typing or something.

Problem is with the diabetes.  You all know by now that I have a delayed
reaction to the humalog (3-4 hrs instead of the norm)..well, she wants my
high b.g. to let lie instead of bolusing again after 2 hrs to bring it down.

She said she doesn't want me at a 120 target but a 150 and get this...which
really ticks me off...."I check my b.g. too often"!!!!  Why do I check it
when I first wake up and then again before I eat breakfast?  And I should
let it go w/o checking until I eat again like for lunch.  I told her most
times I can't even get food down to think about lunch and so I don't eat it,
so here we go round and round and round again...and I really just want to
stop feeling so badly with ups and downs and all the aches and pains and
everything else that goes along with it.

I also have hypothyroids and told her that a lot of my symptoms mimic that
and she said "well we checked last Nov. and everything was perfect"..yeah,
that was almost a year ago...think she would test it again now?  Nope!  Have
to wait until next month to do that...

I am very frustrated....do any of you have to deal w/this with your drs. as

Thx for letting me vent.
Kathy Bruckmeyer
email @ redacted
diab 35 yrs pumping 12/00
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