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[IP] Calm down! :)

Hi, Steve,

A couple of things strike me right off the bat -- and the biggest one is
your heavy emotional investment in the pump and your BG numbers.

I think the first hurdle is to remember that the numbers you get when
you test are JUST information -- there is no good or bad about it. So no
reason to get angry or frustrated -- when your BGs are high, you just
correct, and when they're low, you treat, and that's that. No berating
yourself and no guilt -- the whole definition of diabetes is blood sugar
numbers that are out of the ordinary -- and treatment is nothing more
than doing what has to be done. 

Second, almost everyone who goes on a pump has a learning curve -- and
NO ONE gets it perfect, EVER!

I do think it's worth it to test basals and carb ratios according to the
Pumping Insulin book -- but you'll NEVER get more than an approximation,
because there are too many other factors entering into the equation that
you just can't control. Which is why you correct when necessary. 

When people say they're doing so great on the pump, it may well be that
in comparison to shots they are -- BUT if you never tested while on
shots, then you don't know if you're one of them -- maybe you ARE doing
better on the pump, you just don't know it! Try taking shots, AND
testing as often as you do on the pump and see how you do!

I think the best attitude to take with the pump is that it's a nifty
little tool -- it really doesn't do anything more than shots do, BUT
it's more convenient in a lot of ways, and more physiological -- that
is, closer to the body's own natural pattern of insulin secretion. That
has to be a plus.

Another thing I think might be useful is to talk to a psychologist about
all your frustrations -- because it seems to me you have a lot of issues
going on, and they aren't REALLY about the pump -- they're about
attitudes and feelings and life as it is. When you can deal with all
your emotions, then the mechanics of the pump will certainly be easier.

I don't mean to be preachy, but I'm really concerned about you as a
whole person, and I think the best course is to get help when you need

 ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- 
 Natalie A. Sera, with all her ducks in a row!
 Type Weird, pumping!
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 ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c-._c- ._c- ._(` ._c- ._c- 
 Can YOU find the ugly duckling? (Hint: it ain't the pumperduck!)
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