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[IP] Venting about new endo

I just need to vent to "someone" who understands.  I've tried talking to my
boyfriend about it, and he listens, but just doesn't get it (seeing that the
only time he goes to the doctor or thinks about his health is when he has to
have a physical for work/school and does it in a walk-in place, I somewhat
understand why he doesn't get my frustration).

First off, it takes me a while to get used to a new doctor.  I recently
moved to the city I'm in and have only been seeing my doctor since August.
I'm going to a teaching/research hospital (which has its benifits and
disadvantages).  Anyhow, the first appointment went really well, I had the
head endo of the department and his fello.  Both listened to me, told me it
sounded like I had a good handle on making adjustments, and offered a few
suggestions, and discussed some questions I had with me.  Two weeks ago I
went back and wound up with a different endo and his fello.  She (the fello)
walked in, scolded me for my A1c being too high (7.8, which somewhat
surprised me, but not terribly, prepump I was always in the high 6's, but
since been being on the pump, I've been in the 7's-low 8's; not having the
20's and 30's in there to average out my highs pulls up my A1c, I would like
lower, but I've finally made my peace that right now, 7's is what I can do).
When she was taking my basal rates (I have a different pattern I use on the
weekends), I got yelled at because I forgot my paper that I have the
different patterns on at home, then got yelled at because I couldn't pull up
those rates in my pump.  I explained I have an "older" model where you can't
program in multiple profiles, she told me that I could.  I told her to show
me.  She took my pump (not attached to me, I don't let people I don't trust
push buttons when it is attached) and played with it for a minute, then
started to scold me for having my blood sugars be too high.  If I don't keep
my bgs between 80-140 then you can get this complication and that
complication, blah, blah, blah.  The endo comes in at this point (and didn't
even tell me his name) and changes all of my basal rates (including a couple
that were working), and didn't listen to my reasoning for NOT doing what he
was suggesting (personally, I NEVER change all 5 rates at the same time, or
change any rate by anything other than .1 u/hr at a time).  I was stupid and
agreed to try his basal rates.  Then he told me that I need to start
counting calories not carbs (wieght is NOT an issue with me) and that I MUST
eat a snack before I go to bed.  I refused to do both.  Then he said it was
my fault for having high bgs.  At which point I said I would no longer see
him again and walked out to schedule an appointment with the endo and fello
I do like.  Since trying his basal rates, my blood sugars have gone through
the roof.  In the past two weeks, there have been 4 times I've been above
400 (once it was 595), only one of which I was able to attribute to pump
problems (the rest immediately responded to my correction bolus).  In the
past year, I haven't been above 370 (one thing I discussed in August was the
possiblity of going on the pill because whenever my period comes, I rapidly
jump to the mid 300's, and often about 2 weeks into my cycle I do the same
thing... but it happens in a matter of hours, and I can't predict to the
hour when it is going to happen, so I just have to wait for the dry mouth
groggy feeling to come).  Since going on the pump and my initial settling in
period 2.5 years ago, I don't think I've been above 400 apart from a bad
site and/or pulling the site out unknowingly.  I'm consistently taking at
least 15 more units a day, one day I was took double what I was 2 weeks ago
(due to highs), and my meter is showing that I'm averaging 75 points high
for my bgs.  I'm changing my sites every three days instead of every 4 days
(which was working fine, but since I'm using more insulin they seem to be
wearing out more quickly).  I call the office today to say it isn't working.
I only can talk to the fello I didn't like.  She told me I just need to take
more insulin!   First she just wanted to put me on a rate of 1.2 all around
the clock (right now my rates range from .8 to 1.1).  I refused that, so she
just raised two rates by .1 each.  Then she wanted me to just add .5 of a
unit my breakfast bolus (even though I carb count).  If I wasn't having
problems with my thyroid right now (I'm not sure what is happening,
litterally in the same week my TSH levels can fluctuate between .26 and
13.1), I would just say screw it and just see my PCP.  I am willing to see
the first endo again, and want to not do anything to upset our relationship
before it really starts (so I don't want to cross this fello I don't like).
But at the same time, I'm not having a good feeling about these changes.
I've been here, done this before.  When I start taking too much insulin, a
lot of times I will go high (as well as some really nasty lows), when I back
off my bgs will come down (I really was leery of this theory until my old
endo convinced me to try it for two weeks, and it worked).  So I think I'll
try her suggestions, but if it doesn't start working by Monday, I'm calling
and refusing to talk to her, only the endo and/or fello I originally
LISTENED to me and ENCOURAGED me.   ARGGGG!!!!!  I do know something about
myself and my pump!!!

Thanks for the vent
Maureen dx 10/24/94 pump 4/6/99
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