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[IP] (no subject)
this may end up being a venting post
When i look at my house i want to bawl. I hate it. it is ugly. The children
at the bus stop at my house have kicked and tore a hole 3 ft wide into the
shed beside my driveway so everyone driving by can see it. It was easy to
tear apart because the prev. owners made the shed out of particle boards.
This is one of the first things we need done because of stray animals. the
neighbors have like umpteen kittens and more on the way. they like my shed in
the winter. I dont like them in the winter. The kids also tore my fence apart
too :( The police, school and bus company wont do anything-- so there goes a
whole ton of money i dont have to fix it.
Our yard was never pretty , the people here before us let the weeds take
over. UGly. it looks good when the weeds are gone. The inside of my house is
not any better. the framing from the windows is missing :( and it is ugly.
the floor is stained ugly (linolieum). i tried to make the living room and
bedroom pretty but it isnt. we have so many plans for our house and no
money. We want to get like a home depot card and buy things and pay them off.
We also want a deck. and to fix the fence so it is not see through but the
wood is very close together. But first things first...........
I just wish we were able to get some money and fix our place and not have
dumb kids ruin my house and not have to be liable. If i would have done that
when i was a kid, man o man would i have had to pay!! AN di dont just mean
money but punishment such as groundings and apoligizing and all that.
Life is hard sometimes and I wish it wasnt. I wish i could move home and have
things as they were even 1 year ago. Everything as good. My husband had a 60
hour/ job we had no debt, we were happy.... I mean i am happy now but i
have these days like today. I want to cry but i dont think i have any tears.
I went out to my shed today to try and fix it and everything i tried to fix
iw ould just find another thing wrong! UGH> I WANT TO SCREAM BUT WE HAVE
NEIGHBORS NOW. it doesnt help either that they are fixing there house.
the good news is my health is ok but Joel is depressed over his weight . I
cant do anything for him and I get upset sometimes for him complaining. I
shouldnt i know. I am a awful wife for saying this. I feel like and *** for
saying that but it is true. I know i would feel like &^%$ if i knew he
thought " jenn shut up already"
I want out of this place soon.
I know millions of people have it worse than me but this is one of those
depressed days for me. I dont get them very often lately but UGH
UGHUGHHGHJGAHD UHJDKL"JDL"IHJWOI"YRE"?. I am so friggin upset at those ^%$
kids. UGH> I am glad they are not on my yard right now because i am afraid I
may some thing that I may regret.
I think I am depressed so much today because the kids , the police and
everyone we called wont do jack &^%$, they tell us its our fault more or less
and most of my friends lately have been depressed and Im tired of depressed
people. But i have gone and gotten depressed.
This world has gone insane. people are allowed to walk around and not pay for
their actions and we wonder why things like new york happened? gee i dont
know. Maybe if you deal with the problems when they are little they wont get
maybe i am tired and that is part of it. I did have to get up at 8 am to
talk to the kids and again tomorrow morning to see if the police shows up
like he said he would
thanks for listening
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