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Re: [IP] Nasty hypo guy (me) scares his gal. -long

>If any of you can relate to what it's like to see the person you love turn
>into a low blood sugar monster, and can offer any words of reassurance or
>advice to my wonderful girlfriend

oh yes, I can relate!!! My husband Shane has been on a pump for almost a
year now, so things are better. But before that, for 7 years, I
dated/was married too a low blood sugar monster. On at least 3
occasions, he became so low that he had seizures.

>It took her a good half hour of cajoling before I finally accepted the juice >and tablets she offered me. 
>At one point, she held out glucose tablets to me and I grabbed her wrist >roughly and tried to push them away.) Like other episodes, this one caused >anguish, stress and tears. Like other episodes, I got really snotty  and >didn't want anyone suggesting that I do things (drink juice/eat tablets) that >I'm too spaced-out to figure out on my own in a timely fashion.

Shane also does not like to be "helped" when he is low. He gets really
smart mouthed and mean when low. The best way to tell if he is low is to
say "I think you are acting a little odd, would you go do a blood
sugar?"  If he is ok or high he will say "ok" and go do it. But if he is
low, then he gets mad that I am trying to tell him what to do and he
will refuse.

Perhaps you guys need to work out some sort of agreement about when Mia
should help and when she should not help. Or how much she should help.
For example, if Shane is low when he is in bed, he wants me to pester
him until he gets up and does a blood sugar. Even though he acts mad at
the time, I know it is what he wants me to do. He does not want me to
let him go to sleep that way. If he is not in bed, he does not want me
to try to make him eat or test. Just mention it once and leave him
alone. Eventually he will take care of it. Now in your case perhaps the
agreement could be that Mia is to bring you juice or glucose tabs, but
she is not to attempt to help (or force) you to drink/eat. Make sure she
understands that you will eventually eat it on your own.

Shane hates it if I try to make him eat or drink something. His mother
force fed him when he was little and low. No matter how bad his hands
are shaking he has to hold the glass himself. Makes a horrible mess. I
have discovered a better choice is to keep a squeeze bottle around to
put the juice in because it is easier for him to handle plus it doesn't
make a mess. And in the worst case, if he gets so bad he really can't do
it himself, it is easy to squirt the juice into his mouth. Thankfully we
have not had any lows this bad since pumping.

>Before we met, I'd spent 8 years--mostly on my own--dealing with hypos of >varying degrees. ...
>I'm still not used to having someone know or CARE that I'm low. Being a >single diabetic hardened me to the extent that being unable to complete a >sentence still doesn't constitute an emergency.

Shane had also spent many years on his own and it took him a long time
to understand how it upset me when he went really low. Plus he doesn't
remember some hypos so he didn't know how bad they were. The conversion
went something like this "why are you so upset? it wasn't that bad. i
was watching tv, then I had some juice, now I'm fine"..."shane, you were
lying on the floor convulsing!"..."I don't remember that, you just made
it up".."no I didn't"..."well I'm fine now so what are you upset
about?"  It wasn't until I was hospitalized a few months ago that he got
a taste of what it is like to be the spouse that has to stand by and
can't do anything for the person who is suffering. It hurts so much to
see someone you love hurting that way. Sometimes you wish that it could
happen to you instead of them just so you wouldn't have to watch.

>Finally, I want to make it clear here that my clutching/bearhug caused
>emotional bruises only.

Shane has never physically injured me from a low. He does try to push me
away if I try to feed him or pester him too much. But luckily when he is
low he moves like he is drunk - slow and awkward. He is very strong, but
he moves slow...

Mia, sometimes you just have to let them do it themselves, even though
it sucks to watch. 2 things can happen -- he will fix it himself, OR he
will eventually pass out at which point you can give him glucagon. I
know you don't want to (I sure don't), and I'll bet you are thinking
like me: it is stupid for him to do all of this when I am standing right
here and I can fix it so easily. But when they are low, they do not
think that way. they think "this stupid low is controlling me and now
that woman thinks she is going to control me too? i don't think so!"  I
always have to think of all the years Shane lived alone and managed to
survive. If he tells you (in a non-low moment) that he will eventually
drink the juice you put in front of him when he's low, then you
eventually just have to trust that he will.

Well, this is pretty long, so I will quit for now. Mia, please feel free
to email me if you ever need to talk/vent.
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