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[IP] cry for help.....(long)


I can see the frustration you are going through. I am 56 and have had
diabetes since I was 5. I went through the years Justin is going through
now. I also lived many of his frustrations. I remember starting boyscouts
and not being able to go on the campouts. When It came time to cook
outdoors my mother sent me with hot dogs because she knew the food value in
them. Needless to say, the scoutmaster didn't think cooking hotdogs quite
meant the intent of the cooking merit badge. I remember the reactions I had
in school that scared everyone and made my classmates think I was weird.

I had a hard time controlling my diabetes through Jr. High School and High
School because I didn't watch my diet well and I didn't want to check my
urine sugars. In spite of all of this my parents insisted that I control my
diabetes myself. Today I am thankfull that they did. I have a better
understanding of how my diabetes works. My last A1C was 6.7 on injections.

My advice to you is that every young man your sons age rebels. Your son
just has a larger target to rebel at. If nothing else, the pump is giving
your son the basal insulin dosages required to maintain his blood sugars
normal. I think you should be thanking yourself for getting him on the
pump. Without testing for two weeks I expect the pump has done a lot to
keep him out of seriour troubles. Don't take away the pump.

I feel your son needs the things that give him self-confidence. His sports
activities surely do that. Also, the sports are helping to keep his blood
sugars down. Encourage him in his sports and go to watch him when you can.
I think this type of sharing is important for building the bond between
parent and child.

Often when Justin is rebeling I am sure he is also realizing the importance
of keeping his diabetes in control. When I was his age and not keeping good
control of my diabetes I had a lot of guilt that drove me to try to take
better control. The guilt was self induced. It didn't come entirely from my

As to not being a good mother, I don't think you should berate yourself.
Everyone on earth has free agency. That is, after all you can do and say,
Justin can act the way he wants. Of course he has to pay the consequences.
I remember the consequences of having my diabetes out of control were not
pleasant. The most embarasing was having to go to the bathroom a lot. That
alone makes you stand out from the crowd. The best thing Justin can do if
he wants to "look normal" is to take care of his diabetes. He may want to
think of leadership. I feel that a person in school who takes the time to
test in front of his friends and to let them know what the tests tell him
is a leader. His friends will see it that way also. A person who is not
afraid to show friends that he can manage his own diabetes will earn the
respect of his friends. Also, as those friends find out he is diabetic,
they will help him if he needs it with low blood sugars. He may be razzed
about his diabetes, but it will be good natured razzing from his true friends.

Teresa, I have rambled on and on. However, I hope this helps. I also hope
Justin is a fighter who will fight to keep his diabetes in control  I feel
that young diabetics going through school and learning to take charge of
their diabetes .learn to problem-solve and that this makes them more
responsible in the future.

Lots of luck and best wishes,

Ray Rahn

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