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[IP] Re: being different and self acceptance
In a message dated 10/05/2000 11:39:11 AM US Mountain Standard Time,
email @ redacted writes:
<< hree weeks she is still missing some bolus, most of the time at school. I
think it might be a school thing, not wanting to bolus in front of other
people. This is just a guess on my part. I know that she doesn't feel
comfortable having to do bg's and bolusing in front of normal people. Her
CDE wants her to check her bg's before she plays soccer b/c she has been
very high after soccer. She will play this game with me on how she can get
I was diagnosed diabetic at age 12 and 30 years later, I still struggle
with self-worth issues. It sounds as though Eve is uncomfortable with
feeling "different". Possibly you could talk to her about how many famous
and "successful" people have dealt with diabetes, alcoholic parents, cancer,
and many other situations that resulted in them feeling different. I believe
that many, many people deal with feeling "unworthy" of self-love, or that in
some way God has abandoned them.
I hope you are able to convince her that diabetes does not have to hold
her back from being "normal". Through your continued assurance that you love
her, and that her "worth" is unrelated to the diabetes, she may learn
patience and self-acceptance. Of course first she has to work through her
anger at how unfair life appears to be. This is her choice.
Unfortunately my own parents were unable to teach me about self-love
and faith in my abilities to cope. I had to learn this on my own. I have
been very fortunate, and I have no complications from 30 years of diabetes.
I am a pharmacist, I had 2 uncomplicated pregnancies and my children are now
ages 9 and 13, I have had an insulin pump since 1981. I attribute my good
health to my determination to never give up. The most damaging issue in my
life has been anger and lack of self worth. At 13, I am sure your daughter
will go through many stages. I encourage you to tell her that she is worth
all the effort in the world, regardless of what her blood sugar or
glycosylated hemoglobin level is. Every person's worth comes from their
soul. Having the confidence to be "different" and risk being rejected is
very frightening. I'd bet that any diabetic on this list has stories of
feeling that other people judged them unfairly as "inferior" or "defective"
because of their diabetes.
Eventually diabetes teaches us patience, and hopefully that our bodies
are teaching us to take care of our health, and to love ourselves regardless
of how inconvenient it may be. To love our soul is easier, and know that we
are stronger believing in our ability to be compassionate to any person that
feels "different". Taking the time to test your blood sugar is an act of
self-love. Obsessing over the results or relating the results to your self
worth, is self-destructive. I wonder how many of your daughter's "normal"
friends have "hidden" self-worth issues, like an abusive or inattentive
parent, fears over feeling unattractive or "nerdy", feeling "stupid", etc.. .
I believe that the teenage years are packed with self-worth issues. This
may be an excellent opportunity for you to start a long term dialogue about
the value of each person's soul, growing stronger, and believing in your
divine right to happiness. Good luck to you both.
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