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Re: Subject: Re: [IP] Letting go ? for parents and

    No need to apologize & no need for anyone to feel defensive about this 
topic either...Dialogue is always healthy, as opposed to letting 
misperceptions fester...
    In our case, Melissa is responsible for 99.9% of her care, but has no 
time to be posting here- I do; so I'm the one who relates "our" experiences, 
since I truly feel as if I've been her "coach" these past 7 years. Ideally, a 
coach's role should become less & less visible as the player becomes more 
skillful - as she now is. I still remind (nag?) her each am & pm to take her 
Vasotec, because that's critical, given how dramatic an impact it had upon 
reversing her sky high proteinuria. 
   When she called me after school on Friday ( I was volunteering at JDF), I 
asked ( as I always do) what her bg was before she drove home. Her reply: 
well that's an interesting question since I'd left my meter home on my 
bed!.....I simply said "hmm..haven't done that in ages". Of course, I wasn't 
thrilled she hadn't checked all day, but also knew that if she needed help, 
there are 2 teachers at the school on pumps, and 2 students (one on a pump) 
to whom she could have gone for assistance. To have berated her for "being 
human & forgetting" would have been counter-productive.
   Lastly, I'm cutting & pasting what I'd recently sent out to other parents 
in response to a question I'd received about teens & record-keeping. My 
apologies to those who already read this in a forward- but given this subject 
heading, I thought it was worth re-posting:
    << How realistic is it to expect kids to continue to
 be so vigilant about record keeping >>
Dear Jane:
   Probably NOT at all! LOL...Melissa records NOTHING - not her food, not her 
bgs, not her battery or infusion set changes - all of which she did 
initially.....But realistically, even the most diligent dieter doesn't adhere 
to a regimen unflinchingly, and that doesn't take into account all the other 
aspects of diabetes that our kids have to be concerned with...so to expect 
them to keep functioning like little automatons is not realistic, in my 
   That said, however, Melissa's Precision QID DOES have software enabling 
you to download the preceding 125 readings in graphs, charts, etc....in fact, 
I intend to have her do so today, since it can only retain about 3 wks worth 
of readings for her. The innate beauty of pump therapy for our kids is that 
keeping a "chart" of the bgs is fairly pointless EXCEPT to pinpoint patterns, 
requiring an adjustment. Other than that, by knowing that they DO have the 
power to correct an aberrant bg simply by checking & being cognizant of it, 
is a powerful incentive to do precisely that - CHECK!! Could Melissa be doing 
a better job? Unequivocally!.....but knowing that she's diligent about set 
changes, about checking very often, about checking before driving, etc: these 
are my current priorities....If I were to harass her about doing a "better" 
job, I know it would backfire & she'd resent me not appreciating all she DOES 
do without my nagging...Very fine balance here that we all walk....Someone 
once told me to think of it as holding a handful of sand - need to keep your 
hand closed enough not to let it dribble out, BUT if you close your fist too 
tightly, all the sand will lose its flee-flowing ability & turn into a hard 
   Hope Annie's considering coming to the Teen support group November 
7th....I'm using the "pitch" to parents that our kids who ARE coping well can 
serve a wonderful role "mentoring" some of the younger pre-teens who will be 
attending, in how they can incorporate having diabetes into high school life, 
without having to feel "different" & that by doing whatever it takes to 
maintain the best control, they paradoxically wind up being less "different" 
than if they did a lot less in a desire NOT to be different & wound up 
suffering the ill effects! Boy was THAT a run-on sentence or what!!
    the parents who drop their kids off that evening (5:30-7:00) are going to 
all go out somewhere for an ad-hoc support session over dinner!

Regards, Renee
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