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[IP] "Normal" The fantasy approach
I can really relate to your son's dismay about his inability to be 'normal'
again. My husband and I play a game which helps me. We don't play it too
often as it could be dangerous, i.e. we could forget that its a game and
think it was real life but if I do it every once in a while it helps me let
off steam safely. The game goes like this:
I get up in the morning and announce to my husband "I'm bored with being
diabetic. I think I'll stop being diabetic now. I've learnt a lot from
being diabetic. I've met a lot of interesting people, and been astonished
to learn how caring they can be (e.g. pumper's internet) and I've learnt a
lot about how the human body works (or doesn't work). I've been challenged
and tested to perform in ways that have forced me to grow. I've learnt
discipline, compassion, empathy. Along with all the fustrations, fears,
and feelings of defeat, have come successes, hope and knowledge that you
are with me all the way. However, I am tired of it all and I've decided to
quit being diabetic.
My husbandsays: "Great idea. I think we both learnt a lot from this
experience, but I agree it is getting rather tiresome. Let's just take a
holiday from diabetes."
Me: "ok, I'm going to stop in a little while, probably tomorrow,but just
for now I'll take my morning insulin. "
Now I do go on to take my shots, (telling myself that this is the very last
time)and eat properly etc etc but just being able to voice and share with
my husband this fantasy seems to help us both.
I do the same thing with food sometimes. I will walk down the
'forbidden'supermarket isle- you know the one I mean- the one full of
cookies and chips and other junk food and I say "I'll have one of those,
and two of these, and a whole box of that" and my husband will add" No, no,
what about a bag of these- they look really wicked, and these candies look
as if they could push your blood glucose to 30( 500? US) or more, let's try
We walk down the isle making really stupid choices and the whole thing
gets so silly that we both laugh and I go home and eat something sensible
which is actually what prefer to eat anyway. It's only the fact that I
feel that I can't have these things that makes me want them in the first
place. And I know I can eat anything with the pump but frankly I can't be
bothering working out the carb ratio for things I seldom eat.
I don't know if this technique is safe for a child, but I suspect that even
children should be allowed to fantasize as long as they are taught the
difference between fantasy and reality. Isn't that what fairy tales are
all about? Would it be safe to say to your little boy " I know you wish
you could be normal and I wish it too? It isn't going to happen in the
near future but I respect and share that wish. We can dream about it, and
in fact maybe we should never let go of that dream, but until it can come
true, lets talk about what we can do to make the reality easier for you."
Am I out to lunch or is this a possible coping mechanism?
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