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[IP] Just a few thoughts

Well....we are in the final countdown for starting the pump.We begin
with saline on Monday and then insulin later on in the week. Along with
the excitement, high hopes and anxieties that we have associated with
this exciting time, as a mother, I look at this new beginning with
other, more soul-wrenching feelings. My son is only seven (dx. @ 3.5
yrs) and tonight, as I look at his smooth, unemcumbered body, I get sad
thinking that he may only have these last few days to run around without
this machine attached to his body. Will he have to wear this the rest of
his life? Will he ever remember a time without it? Is this as good as it
gets? Up to now, when I looked at my son, outwardly I see this smiling,
trusting young child. Sure, we all know that our children look so
healthy from the good care we give them, but we also know that diabetes
is not a disease that  announces itself to the general public. My son
will now be wearing a reminder to himself and to us that he is on life
support, not other way around it.

I am not asking for pity and I am not trying to downplay the great
things that the pump will do to help my son avoid the horrible
complications that poor control can bring on. In trying to understand
these grieving feelings I am experiencing, I believe that this pump is
sending me a sign to work even harder to try to put a stop to all of
pain for all of us and our children. I don't want the pump of today to
be considered the cure as insulin was considered back the 1920's. I
don't want this to be as good as it gets. I want my son to say, Oh
yeah...do you remember the first day I wore that old pump, while he is
still young enough to benefit from the cure that we have all worked so
hard to achieve.

Thanks for letting me go on irrationally about the most exciting thing
that has happened to our son and our family since the big "D" day! I am
positive that my son will thrive on this new  therapy and never look
back. Such is the way of a child. Now...if he could only teach his old
mom how to do it, I could pass it on to all of you and what a
difference, however small, that would make in all of our lives  ; }=>F

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