Re: [IP] The Other Side of the Story
My husband, although in his 30s, had just been diagnosed, when I started
going out with him. In l979, he was on one shot per day of Lente and knew a
bit about dietary management and that was about it. I noticed he passed out,
if he drank. He didn't get nasty or outspoken, he just went to bed. His
blood sugars went low, too, when he exercised, but I learned to get him OJ
or milk and pull him back.
I didn't think diabetes was going to be a problem. Or I did, but it was a
distant problem, one I didn't really connect with. A doctor friend told me
it was going to be a problem, but I didn't listen.
Even when I met a diabetic who'd gone blind and who'd slightly later lost
part of a foot, I didn't really see that as maybe, being my husband's life
in twenty years time. When the wonderful person with diabetes died at 65 of
congestive heart failure, I guess I knew that diabetes was not that great a
In the last 4 years, my husband has had a number of medical issues
addressed. He has received a photo ID for his health card. No one else in
the family has one. We just have a plastic card. I tell him that it's the
platinum card, or that his has photo I.D., because OHIP wants to make sure
he's 1 patient, not 10.
He doesn't like my wit.
My husband's diabetes, though, has been well looked after due to our
excellent private health benefits and our government-paid health care
system. He doesn't have retinopathy or high blood pressure or an amputation
due to diabetes. His feet are better looking than mine.
We've had a good relationship over 23 years, two children, fairly middle
class lifestyle. Healthy relationship? Healthy spouse for him? Who in
their right mind takes on someone with my husband's health issues, unless he
or she is a health care worker and gets well paid to do it? ( I hope you
read this last sentence with a chuckle.) It might be nice, if the
government recognized the work we spouses do! Some tax relief! A bit of a
>From: "Danielle Simmons" <email @ redacted>
>Reply-To: email @ redacted
>To: "ip-ip" <email @ redacted>
>Subject: Re: [IP] The Other Side of the Story
>Date: Thu, 13 Nov 2003 19:45:12 -0500
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>Shelley pondered: Is a woman going to hesitate a relationship with my son
> > because he has "health issues"? He deserves to be involved in a
> > healthy loving relationship regardless of his health "issues". Is
> > this what my son has to look forward to?
> > I HATE diabetes.
>Shelley - I have to tell you, I *never* thought about relationships or
>dating or marriage or any of that - I went out and lived a life. Along the
>way, dh-to-be came along, and he learned I had diabetes and, only did I
>out *much* later, he researched about it all he could to find out the
>scenario" type of thing and whether he realistically thought he could deal
>with it. He decided he could. And love being love, here we are almost 20
>years married thru all the ups and downs, bad moods, trips to the ER,
>massive medical bills, etc.
>It's sort of like my parents adopting me as a "healthy white infant" only
>have me dx with diabetes at 8, and a host of other issues at 12. Life is
>life, y'know, and throws curves - and God gives grace to handle what we and
>our loved ones are dealt. I agree with whomever posted that children
>our emotions, and any hostility you feel re diabetes will be picked up.
>Rather, encourage your son to live life, and pursue his dreams, and he'll
>handle the relationship part just fine.
>(in SW NH, btw)
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