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Re: [IP] The Other Side of the Story

My husband, although in his 30s, had just been diagnosed, when I started 
going out with him.  In l979, he was on one shot per day of Lente and knew a 
bit about dietary management and that was about it. I noticed he passed out, 
if he drank.  He didn't get nasty or outspoken, he just went to bed.  His 
blood sugars went low, too, when he exercised, but I learned to get him OJ 
or milk and pull him back.

I didn't think diabetes was going to be a problem.  Or I did, but it was a 
distant problem, one I didn't really connect with.  A doctor friend told me 
it was going to be a problem, but I didn't listen.

Even when I met a diabetic who'd gone blind and who'd slightly later lost 
part of a foot, I didn't really see that as maybe, being my husband's life 
in twenty years time.  When the wonderful person with diabetes died at 65 of 
congestive heart failure, I guess I knew that diabetes was not that great a 

In the last 4 years, my husband has had a number of medical issues 
addressed.  He has received a photo ID for his health card.  No one else in 
the family has one.  We just have a plastic card.  I tell him that it's the 
platinum card, or that his has photo I.D., because OHIP wants to make sure 
he's 1 patient, not 10.
He doesn't like my wit.

My husband's  diabetes, though, has been well looked after due to our 
excellent private health benefits and our government-paid health care 
system.  He doesn't have retinopathy or high blood pressure or an amputation 
due to diabetes.  His feet are better looking than mine.

We've had a good relationship over 23 years, two children, fairly middle 
class lifestyle.  Healthy relationship?  Healthy spouse for him?   Who in 
their right mind takes on someone with my husband's health issues, unless he 
or she is a health care worker and gets well paid to do it? ( I hope you 
read this last sentence with a chuckle.)   It might be nice, if the 
government recognized the work we spouses do!  Some tax relief!  A bit of a 

>From: "Danielle Simmons" <email @ redacted>
>Reply-To: email @ redacted
>To: "ip-ip" <email @ redacted>
>Subject: Re: [IP] The Other Side of the Story
>Date: Thu, 13 Nov 2003 19:45:12 -0500
>Insulin Pumpers is made possible by your tax deductible contributions.
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>of the diabetes community. Please visit:
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>Your annual contribution will eliminate this header from your IP mail
>Shelley pondered: Is a woman going to hesitate a relationship with my son
> > because he has "health issues"? He deserves to be involved in a
> > healthy loving relationship regardless of his health "issues". Is
> > this what my son has to look forward to?
> >
> > I HATE diabetes.
>Shelley - I have to tell you, I *never* thought about relationships or
>dating or marriage or any of that - I went out and lived a life.  Along the
>way, dh-to-be came along, and he learned I had diabetes and, only did I 
>out *much* later, he researched about it all he could to find out the 
>scenario" type of thing and whether he realistically thought he could deal
>with it.  He decided he could.  And love being love, here we are almost 20
>years married thru all the ups and downs, bad moods, trips to the ER,
>massive medical bills, etc.
>It's sort of like my parents adopting me as a "healthy white infant" only 
>have me dx with diabetes at 8, and a host of other issues at 12.  Life is
>life, y'know, and throws curves - and God gives grace to handle what we and
>our loved ones are dealt.  I agree with whomever posted that children 
>our emotions, and any hostility you feel re diabetes will be picked up.
>Rather, encourage your son to live life, and pursue his dreams, and he'll
>handle the relationship part just fine.
>(in SW NH, btw)
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