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[IP] being realistic....???

hi all,
 i'm going to apologize in advance because this is going to be a rant, but
you guys are the only ones i can think of who would understand.
i am SO not looking forward to the holidays.  i mean, i have had dreams all
week long about getting the implantable , closed loop pump ever since i read
that email from here.:) i will be 32 in 2005 (the soonest it could go on the
market) and i am not patient! lol!
here's how i feel.... i have been dx'd for one year now. last
thanksgiving/xmas, i didn't go to any dinners , any parties, any anything
because i knew i didn't want to have to face the food challenge in front of
everyone. i also came down with meniere's (constant vertigo) so i had a
socialy allowable excuse to stay away.
this year, i have turned down 6 thanksgiving dinner invitations. my husband
of 6 1/2 years and i will happily eat dinner at home, then take our therapy
dogs to the nursing home. sounds perfectly reasonable, right? everyone is
wondering why i don't want to come to all of their parties. " well, it's
been a year now. don't you know how to eat yet? when are you going to learn
how to work that thing??!!" (meaning the pump) well, i have had 26 years of
eating as much cheescake as i want! i have had 26 years of not even thinking
about how many cups of green beans i eat at thanksgiving dinner! and i have
had 1 year of EVERYONE asking me what my numbers are after eating. yes, i'm
very happy they actually understand what i have to do, but the PRESSURE! if
i'm over 150 i get the "LOOK". like i went high on purpose! I"M STILL
have any of you figured all this out in a year?? am i really that slow and
dumb? does this pressure to get it all right ever go away?
sorry for ranting.....
thanks for reading...

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