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[IP] weight gain, A1c & other pumping problems

Hi friends, I hope you don't mind, I'm about to lay out a bunch of things
bothering me.  I'm feeling the need for some support.

I just saw my doc this morning, one of so many visits to so many kinds of
docs, i am getting overwhelmed with it.  I seem to be an unusual pumper who
has had Worse A1c's since starting the pump.  I haven't seen anyone else
post that on this list.  Best ever A1c was 6.4, then it crept up over a few
years to 7.8 at which time i got the pump.  now after 1 yr 3 mos, it's 8.7
and its making me feel terrible!  I also gained 30 lbs since pumping!  Not
the 10 they warn you about,but 30!  I feel like i'm trying hard to do
everything right yet failing anyway.  I've never been so fat in my life and
that's hard to deal with.  I also want my good numbers back and am getting
help from a CDE who's also a type 1 with a pump, and a dietician (i'm on my
third dietician, after getting no good help from a few educators who knew
far less than i did about diabetes).  So, I'm cautiously optimistic about
this new set of "help", because at least the CDE is a pumper so there is WAY
more understanding than who i saw before.  I have figured out a proper
correction bolus and I think basals are set pretty well but I am still doing
the fasting basal checks.  I am also counting carbs more exactly than I had
been taught before and given new ratios to try out.  (The education I got
when starting the pump was very lacking, I now realize.)

Still, the doc has me scared again.  My cholesterol is high (250) and has
been high for some time now.  He wants to put me on meds for that.  I am
only 28 years old (ok almost 29) but I feel like I've got the medical
problems and body of someone twice that.  I just want a replacement part for
everything but my brain.  He was alarmed by the weight gain and wants to
consider giving me Meridia to take off 20 or 30 lbs - i guess it's an
appetite suppressant.  First I'd like to know, is anyone out there a fat
type 1 like me?  I can't be the only one, surely?!  Does anyone know about
Meridia - I am scared to take diet drugs, especially after seeing the
commercial for it on TV where the laundry list of warnings and side effects
is the whole 2nd half of the voice over!  I admit that much of my problem is
because of loosening up my management of what I eat.  But I still eat
healthy, maybe too much for dinner and then go to bed soon after which
always leads to high bgs.  I have a lot of work stress, and have had all
year.  I work really long hours too.  Also I have to take Prilosec for
stomach acid which flares up frequently. I could go on, but I think I'll
leave it at that for now. 

I feel like Atlas with the world on my shoulders and it's getting heavier.
I so much want to stamp out all these problems but there are so many it's
overwhelming.  My husband is great support, but he's gained weight recently
too, so I think he doesn't want to get on my case about it because it's
easier to deny that either of us have a problem.  I've got two missions:
Lower the A1c and lost the weight.  Any comments are welcome, and Thank
for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
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