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[IP] Re: the velveteen pump; putting an old friend to rest
Today the Fed Ex Fairy brought me my beautiful new green 508. It's really cool and full of fun gadgetry, and I
know we will live happily together for a long time. But I must admit, it is a day of mixed emotions. As I
transferred the syringe into the new pump, I was surprised by a wave of nostalgia toward my trusty old 506. After
all, you never forget your first. . .
The 506 changed my life 4 years ago and has been with me 24-7 ever since. In all that time, it never gave me a
moment's trouble. A couple of random alarms, which I simply cleared and which never resurfaced. But it never
broke down, the batteries never went dead without warning, it never needed service. It just rode happily at my
hip or in my bra and occasionally (when it was really lucky) clipped onto a sexy garter. We celebrated
Thanksgivings and Christmases together, where the 506 allowed me to graze all day without compromising my health.
We went to weddings, graduations, funerals, conferences, and job interviews. Together, we skipped meals, ate cake,
stayed up all night, slept in. . . We were so connected, we didn't even go to the bathroom alone! It attended the
Jazz Festival in New Orleans this year and made it possible for me to stroll the French Quarter munching on
beignets. This past May, it walked (well, sorta. . .) to the stage with me when I received my Masters. Hell, the
506 has even been privy to the whole of my love life these past few years, hanging out like some mechanical voyeur
as my husband and I made wild love.
So I'm excited about my new green friend, and I'm hopeful about our relationship together. So much ahead for the
two of us. . . And with that vibrator mode. . . ("Where do you wear your pump?" is suddenly a much more intimate
question.) But as I took the 3 little batteries out of my plain gray faithful friend, leaving them out for the
first time in 4 years, I couldn't help feeling just a little sad. Now reduced to a backup, a duty for which I hope
it will not be called, tonight was a sort of goodbye. I thanked my little 506 for all the good times we shared and
told it that there will never be another pump quite like it. And although we won't be seeing much of one another,
I'm hoping we can still be friends.
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