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Re: [IP] I am about ready to quit

At 07:31 AM 11/10/99 -0800, you wrote:
>   I am sick and tired of feeling like I am being attacked and I am about
>ready to have myself removed from this list.  (snip)
I don't want my
>daughter to lose out... I care about her health more than anything, but
>I am unwilling to put my well being on the line.  Thank you for being so
>sweet and for your consideration in this matter.
>Carrie Vargas

I suppose someone will take exception to whatever is said in response to
your very emotional post.  I believe that I understand your sensitivity and
your sadness.  I wish I could tell you how to change the list to suit your
needs better.  I confess, I cannot.  If you are unable or unwilling to stay
with us we will lose the knowledge you might impart but you (as you pointed
out) will lose the necessary information to help your daughter.  I suggest
that this is the time to be tough and hang in there.  What I am saying is
to set aside some of the sensitivity (if you can) and glean from the posts
the information to help your daughter. 

This is a robust group and there is a great deal of variation between the
individuals.  Some may be a bit aggressive in their methods of expression
and that might hurt the more sensitive people when no hurt is intended.

Sometimes a genuine disagreement escalates beyond good manners and there is
a short burst of angry messages.  That is regrettable but it is far from
normal.  I submit that the list polices itself quite well actually.  That
freedom of expression is respected here and that we should always
understand that any opinion is worthy of challenge.  I would much rather
have us being opinionated and robust rather than timid and saccharine.  In
other words lets say what we have to say and learn what we need to learn
and pull back the feelings.  I am sure the BOO will take the necessary
action to stop big time flamers.  The rest of us will have to be a bit less
sensitive or we will be destined to painful composition of words that don't
mean what they say. (My opinion I readily admit).

I suspect I will be accused of promoting an unfeeling and insensitive
approace to our communication.  That is not true.  Let me point out that I
am responsible for my feelings and I have no power to make anyone else feel
unpleasant UNLESS THEY GIVE ME THAT POWER.  I promise I will do my best to
be pleasant or at least neutral but I will tell the truth as I understand
the truth.  If you or anyone disagrees -- the floor is yours.

My sister tells me about the flame wars in her knitting group.  A KNITTING
GROUP!  If they can have occasional disagreements then I suppose we will
to.  It is part of doing business.  It is part of being human.  I suggest
that we look at the amazing good that comes from our working together and
overlook the rather small incidents of bad manners.  If we force the BOO to
take action we will all lose to some extent.  

You are free to do as you like.  But if you believe that you can help your
daughter by learning from the list then (in your place)wild horses would
not drag me away!  I say follow your heart but don't wear it on your
sleeve.  We need this community and you can be part of this community if
you wish.  No one (other than the BOO) can drive you away.  No one.

Bob Blakely
email @ redacted
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