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Re: [IP] Spouse's feelings about pumping

Hi there!  I'm actually answering as wife of a "pumper."  My husband and I have
been married for 6 months.  I'm familiar with diabetes because my father has it
and gives himself shots.  I will say that I was not familiar with the "ups and
downs" of diabetes.  Meaning high and low sugars.  I learned more about that
with my husband.  When we first started going out, he was very honest with me
and told me about his pump... it's internal and thus he has a "lump" on his
right side.  One couldn't recognize that he has diabetes.  His sugars were well
regulated and the highs and lows were not common.  A couple of months back, he
had some trouble with his internal pump.  His sugars were very high and I became
scared that I might lose him due to the malfunction.  For a short time he had to
use shots and it seemed he had trouble controlling.  He was then switched to the
external pump until the problem with his internal is rectified (@ January).
I'll tell you when I first saw him put the pump on, I was nervous.  I believe
it's because I was afraid of accidentally pulling it out or something.  I was
also afraid that he would continue to have peaks and valleys and I know it's not
healthy.  However, since he has had the external pump, he is more alive than
ever.  His sugars are well regulated and the ups and downs are less severe.

I can relate to those spouses who are concerned.  It's hard to watch a loved one
struggle to maintain control of sugar levels, etc.  It's also hard to understand
exactly how you're feeling during those times.  I agree that communication is
essential in this process as well as the processes of life.  I hope all spouses
tell their loved ones "pumping" what is making them apprehensive, etc.  The
person living with the pump itself can assist in our understanding.

Wife of pumper

David wrote:

> Crystal,
> Thank you. I think you are the only one that understood my post. You are
> right. It is a matter of communicating our feelings. I am sure that after a
> couple of weeks on the pump, she will love it! After all, I'm not crazy
> about having the thing hooked to me, but I am excited about the control and
> flexibility it will give me.
> David
> -----Original Message-----
> From: Crystal Carrier <email @ redacted>
> To: email @ redacted <email @ redacted>
> Date: Sunday, November 09, 1997 4:32 PM
> Subject: Re: [IP] Spouse's feelings about pumping
> >Hi
> >David wrote:
> >> My wife is having a very hard time seeing me with a pump connected to me.
> >> She is a nurse and understands how it is going to bennefit me, but still
> >> sees it as a constant reminder of my diabetes. Are these feelings common?
> >
> >First, I have to say that I admire the fact that you and your wife have
> >discussed your feelings honestly....not always easy to do. When the
> >decision was made for me to start pumping I have to say that I was not
> >concerned much with how my husband would feel about it. At the time I was
> >totally frustrated with the MI and lack of control in the face of multiple
> >complications.....I could see no other alternative and probably didn't care
> >too much about how he felt.(became pretty selfish :-(  )
> > I do know that he was getting worried that he was going to lose me soon,
> >so I suppose even if he had some reservations he felt too as though we had
> >little choice. We had also been married for 21 of my , at that time,  27yrs
> >of diabetes......he had been through it all with me and then some! He had
> >no idea what he was getting himself into when we got married....we were
> >young and I seemed pretty healthy and through the yrs he seldom had to deal
> >with my diabetes.
> >For your wife it may be alot harder since she is a nurse and has seen
> >first-hand what diabetes can and does do to someone. That might make her
> >prefer to try and forget that you have this disease. I think you can help
> >her and she can be a great support to you.....keep talking about both of
> >your feelings. Once she sees how much better your control is and
> >consequently your outlook on life, I believe she will become a
> >*pump-promoter*. My husband has!
> > > Do
> >> they get better?
> >
> >Defintely! It is a change and all change can be unsettling at first. When
> >all is said and done you will both wonder why you didn't do it sooner!
> >Best of luck to you and your wife!
> >Crystal
> >type 1 29yrs
> >email @ redacted
> >
> >
> >