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Re: [IP] Emotional aspects of Diabetes

In a message dated 5/8/02 2:13:28 PM Eastern Daylight Time, 
email @ redacted writes:

> I need to tell you both that you appear not to understand the real nature of
> severe depression. Of course no one likes having to do fingersticks and take
> insulin to stay alive, but when you suffer from depression, you also need
> ANTIDEPRESSANTS to stay alive. I'm not talking "happy pills" here.
> The fact is that if you do not have biochemical depression, then
> antidepressants will do nothing for you except possibly give you side
> effects. When you suffer from depression, and can think of NOTHING except
> killing yourself 24/7, and can't stop crying and can't even take care of
> yourself other than to go to the toilet and binge on carbs, then
> antidepressants do a LOT to help lift you back into the world of the living.
> Depression is NOT just feeling blue for a day or two because you have to
> take care of your diabetes. Lots of people with chronic illnesses feel that
> way, and most cope without too much of a problem. On the other hand, some
> people go through SEVERE depressive crises, and there is absolutely NO
> comparison.
> I have to be honest and tell you that I feel minimized and degraded because
> I have a LIFE-THREATENING disease which, simply because it originates in my
> brain instead of my pancreas, is stigmatized and dismissed as mere weakness
> and lack of willpower.
> I'm not going to go into this any further, but you do need to know that I'm
> having a hard time holding back the tears.


I have to agree with you on this one.  I've been there, done that, for most 
of my life actually.  In fact, I'm right in the middle of a severe depressive 
episode right now and I just can't seem to get it together enough to take 
care of myself, even though I AM on antidepressants.  And listen to 
this......I've told my endo, my CDE, my GP, and my gynecologist that I'm 
feeling suicidal and they've all sent me on my merry way.  This has been 
going on for months.  I need to see a therapist but I simply can't afford it. 
 So, I finally got up the nerve to call our county mental health dept.  This 
was in February.  They got me in in a couple of weeks for an evaluation and 
told me that they'd set me up with a counselor which still hasn't 
happened...and what is this, May???  I've seen one guy who adjusted my meds 
and added another one but thats it.  No therapy at all.  And I even told him 
I was suicidal.  I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle here and I have no 
idea what to do anymore.  Seems to me that nobody cares.

Sorry, I've gotten off the original reason I wrote this post in the first 
place so I'll get back to it.  Real depression is a b***h to live 
with.....add it to diabetes and you've got yourself a vicious cycle.  You 
can't know unless you've been there!  I'm so tired of people thinking that 
its not a "real" illness and downplaying the medications.  To be honest, I 
haven't found the right one or the right dosage of the one I'm on yet.  But I 
can tell that I do feel somewhat better while taking it.  I think it's 
probably the one thing that keeps me from offing myself even though I think 
about it constantly. Would any of you go without your insulin for a day???  
It's the same concept folks...putting something in your body to replace 
something that's missing or deficient.  I sent a post earlier this week about 
hesitating to respond to the depression thread because I was embarrassed.  I 
KNOW the stigma that's attached to this disease.  And again, here we see it 
rear it's ugly head.  Not that any of you have a clue who I am, but still its 
the psychological aspect of dealing with other people thinking a depressed 
person isn't really sick.  OK, I've ranted enough now.  Like you Natalie, now 
I feel like I need a good cry.  Maybe I'll feel better then, huh?

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