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Re: [IP] Re: denial

> Jenni wrote:
> >I am having a hard time admitting to my diabetic lifestyle.  I tell myself 
> > I am diabetic, I realize I am diabetic.  I tell others I am diabetic, yet I 
> > do not live as a diabetic.  I have been on the pump 4 yrs and I eat whatever I
> >please, never adjusting a bolus for a "treat".  In fact, sometimes I only
> >bolus once in 48 hours!!  Will I ever live up to the fact I am diabetic?  
> >Its been 6 yrs!!!  Has anyone else had this prob?

Why is this a problem. Is there something wrong with considering 
yourself "normal". In my view, that is the whole point of
technologies like pumps, glasses, artificial limbs and more.... so 
that people that have been injured or lost function in some manner 
can lead normal productive lives just like the people that are lucky 
enough not to have problems. Glasses is a good example. A hugh number 
of people have them and about the only place where it really makes a 
difference is for very young children that get teased a little by 
their peers. When was the last time you thought to yourself when 
seeing a 40-50 something person (like me) wearing glasses and 
mentally said "glasses person", "glasses person". That's no different 
a label than "diabetic". 

I have to say I don't think you can apply the same reasoning to most 
people on MDI -- it's a little harder to live a normal life that way 
with snacks and fixed wake sleep cycles, etc... but with a pump, the 
return to a normal lifestyle is very close.

> Ohhhh, yes, I've had it in spades!
> First of all, I don't think it's denial per se -- more like
> rebellion. It's feeling like saying "Don't try telling ME that I
> have to do all these things, 'cause I'm just not gonna!!" 
> It's also wishful thinking -- "Maybe the diabetes went away while I
> wasn't looking."
> I've been working on ways to cope. First of all, there are some
> things I will and some things I just WON'T do. Random eating is one
> thing I won't give up. And sometimes I do just what you do -- don't
> bolus when I should. And pay the consequences later by not feeling
> well. In the early days of my diabetes, I would just skip shots for
> days -- because I had (and still have) endogenous insulin
> production, I didn't go into DKA, but my BGs just went up and up and
> I ended up miserable. That's what always drove me back to shots.
> One of the good things about the pump, for ME is that I don't have
> to remember to take basal shots -- I have to actively rebel, by
> doing, rather than passively rebel by NOT doing.  
> Second, my insulin is always with me, and when I don't want to
> bolus, I ask myself if it's really that hard to press a few buttons.
> Even if I don't want to calculate, I can at least take a
> conservative amount to help my body at least a little. On shots, I
> used to rebel by not summoning up the energy to go get my syringe
> and insulin, or later, pen, wherever they might be. Or I'd head out
> to lunch with friends, knowing full well I didn't have my insulin
> with me.  
> I also gave myself permission to schedule "official rebellions" --
> once every three months, to keep myself on track for the rest of the
> time. So I schedule a weekend, when I have no other commitments, to
> just stop taking insulin. My BG goes up rapidly, and by the second
> day, I can't stand it any more, and so go back on the pump. This one
> is a manifestation of seeing whether it went away while I wasn't
> looking. Fat chance, eh??
> I guess I'm lucky in that I get symptoms of high BGs very clearly
> when my BG is above 200 for any length of time. And they're not
> pleasant! And at that point, I TELL myself -- this is because you're
> diabetic, dummy, and you NEED the insulin. It ain't a game! And it
> not only didn't go away, it's gonna turn around and BITE you if you
> don't get your act together and fly straight!
> As a slow emotional learner, I NEED that reminder from time to time,
> and so I give myself permission to TAKE that reminder. A few days of
> high BGs in a year's time is NOT going to do a lot of damage, if it
> motivates me to take better care of myself during the rest of the
> year. 
> Anyway, my methods may not work for you, but at least I understand
> what you're going through, and that it doesn't resolve overnight,
> just because you think it OUGHT to. 
> Good luck!  
>  ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- 
>  Natalie A. Sera, with all her ducks in a row!
>  Type Weird, pumping!
>  mailto:email @ redacted
>  ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c-._c- ._c- ._(` ._c- ._c- 
>                               (
>                                0
>  Can YOU find the ugly duckling? (Hint: it ain't the pumperduck!)
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