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Re: [IP] Re: Diabetes has won

What I'm about to tell you few people if none actually know this. A year 
after I was diagnosed I went through a really rough period. I had no family 
support system near by. I live in Minnesota and my family lives in 
Washington. So I went through this by myself. One day it hit me. I didn't 
want to do this anymore. I felt I couldn't live, I felt thing keeping me 
locked up. It was a rough day at work, I mean bad. I had a supervisor that 
didn't do a THING, but you had to do it all. She was not understanding with 
my diabetes. I couldn't eat when I needed to. I was working with a customer 
and felt a low, I was shaking and could hardly get words out. I asked to get 
me a soda, non diet. She never did. When I finished with the customer. I went 
and got myself a soda and candy. Then she had the nerve to tell that I was 
rude with the customers and I better clean up my act. Well this happened 
several more times. So decided not to take my insulin any more, what's the 
use. I'm not able to  take care of myself when I need to. That didn't work, 
just got really sick.  My supervisor loved to play mind games with me. To the 
point, I went into the restroom. filled the syringe full and gave myself a 
dose. I waited for it to kick in, but I must of needed it anyway. One day I 
called the hospital and talked to a CDE. I told her what was going on. 
Needless to say, I went to a ADA user group and talked to them. It really did 
help. Then we got me on the right insulin. And that help too.
Now. That supervisor left 3 years ago. I have a new one that understands that 
when I say "I need food NOW', she understands it perfectly. Of course, she 
also learned the hard way. She got to see me white as a ghost, shakey and I 
could hardly talk. She can look at me and tell.
Tracey, all I can say is take baby steps. It can be frustrating, 
overwhelming, demanding to try to manage this diease. But, I know that my 
life has been so much better since I've started the pump (jan/00). I really 
had friends or people just to hang out with. Now, I had people over last 
month. and people want to be around me. Too me this means so much. Now these 
days we have more freedom and better control.
Hang in there girl. You'll be just fine. It will take time. And that's ok. 
Remember one thing, ok two. Your special no matter what!. It's not your fault 
that you have diabetes.
I know it's hard to see that light at the end of the tunnel. But, there is 
and it's shine'n really brite, just for you!!

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