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[IP] Medical humor
I realize that this has absolutely nothing to do with the pump, but I was
ROTFL after reading this and thought I'd pass it along to give us all some
relief!!! Have a great weekend everyone. :) ~~Kasey
The following quotes were taken from actual medical records dictated by
physicians. They appeared in a column written by Richard Lederer,
the Journal of Court Reporting.
* By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he
*Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
*The patient states there is a burning pain in his penis which goes
*On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had
*She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states
she was very
hot in bed last night.
*The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
*I will be happy to go into her GI system; she seems ready and anxious.
*Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing. I have
suggested that he loosen his pants before standing, and then, when
with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
*The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be
*Discharge status: Alive but without permission. The patient will need
disposition, and therefore we will get Dr. Blank to dispose of him.
*Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but
*The patient refused an autopsy.
*The patient has no past history of suicides.
*The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
*Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
*Patient was becoming more demented with urinary frequency.
*The patient's past medical history has been remarkably
only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
*She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate
*The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath
picture of acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually
deteriorated in the emergency room.
*The patient left the hospital feeling much better except for her
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