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[IP] Preggers update and the continuing endo saga...

~Thank you to those of you who have sent me encouraging notes lately. I've been too mopey to respond.
Well I told you guys about my lovely experience last Thursday with my endo seeing my letter requesting a new endo. The very next day
I had an appointment with  my ob/gyn. He said that they had met and discussed the situation and that the other two endos in the
clinic would not see me. They also happen to be the only other endos in town. I knew these three guys were colleagues, but come on!
I feel like I'm being blackballed. I guess this is a doctor old-boys-network. (My mother said she'd check again to see if her endo,
one of the three muskateers apparently, would see me. Mommy...help me..)
My ob wanted me to go back to the good Dr. Charming. He said that Dr. Charming just has a straight forward manner and he's sure he
didn't mean anything to hurt my feelings. Now maybe I've built this up too much in my head, but I will not go back. I get upset just
thinking about it. I've had nightmares lately about the baby being born dead or just vanishing right out from inside of me. Dr.
Charming's last comments about still births and my lows starving the baby have stuck with me despite my best efforts.
My only other option seems to be driving more than 55 miles and seeing a doc not in my network that the insurance will only pay a
fraction of.  I'm also thinking that any new doc probably couldn't work me in for a month anyway, so I am tempted to just not see an
endo for now.  I am doing well controlling and adjusting with the pump, and I just don't really feel like I need it for the moment.
Is that terrible?  I've always hated the idea of doctors charging hundreds of dollars just to criticize your weight, order one blood
test, and tell you to come back in a few months to do it again. I wish I could just have someone talk to me on the phone, look over
my numbers, and write me a prescription for strips.  That's all I need.
Well, anyway I go back to the ob this Friday for an ultrasound because he said by my tummy measurement that the baby already looks
large and they want to see just how large the little monster is, and give me the shot for my negative RH factor. I'm supposed to
have made a decision about what I want to do for an endo by then, but I don't know what I'm going to tell them. I don't think they
will take, "Oh, I don't need one at all" as an answer. And eventually I will need a new prescription for pump supplies.  There's no
way I can pay the entire cost of that without insurance.  Maybe I can wait it out until some new hotshot endo graduates from med
school and moves to town.... But endocrinology isn't exactly the glamour field, is it?

Sherry C
>From the massive city of Bowling Green, KY
28 weeks pregnant today with the monster baby (who is squashing her bladder flatter than a pancake)    :)
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