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Re: [IP] My Horrible Doctor's Appointment Yesterday

You poor dear.  I am so sorry he talked to you that way and made you feel so
small.  You are not in the wrong, he is and furthermore, the doctor you wrote
to for help should NOT have given your letter to your endo.  My thoughts and
prayers and understanding are with you and I hope that things will work out
well.  Take care, Laura B.

>>> "Sherry Compton" <email @ redacted> 03/02/01 09:03AM >>>
Most of you may remember my previous posts about the infamous Dr. Charming, as
I call him.  Well, I met with him for the last time yesterday. I'd sent a
letter to my ob/gyn about trying to get in to see another endo in town whose
receptionist said he "wasn't taking new patients", but had decided to see Dr.
Charm in the meantime while I was waiting for a new doc.
I am a spineless coward, a doormat really. I wrote the letter to the ob
because I really thought he could help me. I told him what my problems are
with Dr. Charm's comments about miscarriage and still birth every visit, and
that the emotional stress and guilt he makes me feel puts a lot of stress on
me. I
thought a clear, well-thought out letter would get my points across without
letting me chicken out from mentioning it.
Apparently the ob left my letter to him in my file and since they are both in
the same clinic, Dr. Charming had my letter. He came in right after his nurse
checked my blood pressure with my file in hand.  Then he pulled the letter
out, looked it over, commenting on the letterhead just to let me know right
what he had, and proceeded to comment on every line of the letter. He said I
shouldn't use quotes from him unless I had a hidden tape recorder on me.  I
said that to my memory, those were the comments he had made. He said that he
is not responsible for what I choose for feel guilt or stress over, he
be blamed for giving medical facts just because I don't want to hear them, and
that not enough women prepare themselves emotionally for miscarriages.  Then
he told me two stories of miscarriages or stillbirths because the mothers
hadn't been in good control, or hadn't had better control when the baby was
conceived.  (I think those were bonus shots because he knows I have a lot of
guilt about getting pregnant without better planning first). Then he told me
that the adult thing to do would have been to talk to him to his face, not to
write a letter to a third party, and that I was welcome to see another doctor
if that's what I wanted.  He said that although the other two endo's in town,
his colleagues, were full, he could give me a name of a doctor 55 miles down
the road if I wanted to try there, but some patients just don't want to listen
to medical advice anyway.
I left his office crying and was so depressed I went home and went to sleep
for a few hours instead of going back to work.
Maybe I should have been more adult and told him to his face that I had a
problem with his comments, but you have to understand my personality.  I avoid
conflict.  I dread confrontation. I have to work hard to stand up for myself.
I see the ob today and if he can't tell me the new endo will see me, I may
just not see an endo while I'm pregnant.  I will just go by the pumping
insulin book, or whatever.  I'm not willing to go through this again.  I have
enough fears without hearing a medical doctor tell me stories of other women
who have
lost babies. Is it wrong to expect your doctor to be supportive and
comforting?  I didn't expect him to lie to me and say he was absolutely sure
everything would go fine, but do doctors have to harp constantly on everything
that could go wrong, as if they expect it to happen any day?  Is a comment
like, "I
assume you are still pregnant?" right after a patient has had a bleeding scare
what doctors should say to try to put their patients at ease?
I just want to go crawl off into a hole somewhere.

Sherry C
>From the massive city of Bowling Green, KY
Where we need more endos desperately.
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send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml