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[IP] My Horrible Doctor's Appointment Yesterday
Most of you may remember my previous posts about the infamous Dr. Charming, as I call him. Well, I met with him for the last time yesterday. I'd sent a letter to my ob/gyn about trying to get in to see another endo in town whose receptionist said he "wasn't taking new patients", but had decided to see Dr.
Charm in the meantime while I was waiting for a new doc.
I am a spineless coward, a doormat really. I wrote the letter to the ob because I really thought he could help me. I told him what my problems are with Dr. Charm's comments about miscarriage and still birth every visit, and that the emotional stress and guilt he makes me feel puts a lot of stress on me. I
thought a clear, well-thought out letter would get my points across without letting me chicken out from mentioning it.
Apparently the ob left my letter to him in my file and since they are both in the same clinic, Dr. Charming had my letter. He came in right after his nurse checked my blood pressure with my file in hand. Then he pulled the letter out, looked it over, commenting on the letterhead just to let me know right away
what he had, and proceeded to comment on every line of the letter. He said I shouldn't use quotes from him unless I had a hidden tape recorder on me. I said that to my memory, those were the comments he had made. He said that he is not responsible for what I choose for feel guilt or stress over, he shouldn't
be blamed for giving medical facts just because I don't want to hear them, and that not enough women prepare themselves emotionally for miscarriages. Then he told me two stories of miscarriages or stillbirths because the mothers hadn't been in good control, or hadn't had better control when the baby was
conceived. (I think those were bonus shots because he knows I have a lot of guilt about getting pregnant without better planning first). Then he told me that the adult thing to do would have been to talk to him to his face, not to write a letter to a third party, and that I was welcome to see another doctor
if that's what I wanted. He said that although the other two endo's in town, his colleagues, were full, he could give me a name of a doctor 55 miles down the road if I wanted to try there, but some patients just don't want to listen to medical advice anyway.
I left his office crying and was so depressed I went home and went to sleep for a few hours instead of going back to work.
Maybe I should have been more adult and told him to his face that I had a problem with his comments, but you have to understand my personality. I avoid conflict. I dread confrontation. I have to work hard to stand up for myself.
I see the ob today and if he can't tell me the new endo will see me, I may just not see an endo while I'm pregnant. I will just go by the pumping insulin book, or whatever. I'm not willing to go through this again. I have enough fears without hearing a medical doctor tell me stories of other women who have
lost babies. Is it wrong to expect your doctor to be supportive and comforting? I didn't expect him to lie to me and say he was absolutely sure everything would go fine, but do doctors have to harp constantly on everything that could go wrong, as if they expect it to happen any day? Is a comment like, "I
assume you are still pregnant?" right after a patient has had a bleeding scare what doctors should say to try to put their patients at ease?
I just want to go crawl off into a hole somewhere.
>From the massive city of Bowling Green, KY
Where we need more endos desperately.
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