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[IP] Pump Fairy Answers My Letter

Sorry folks but I couldn't help but write this...it is a little long.
-- Sherry

Dear Pump Fairy,
I understand that a busy fairy like you can't "help" every pumper out there.
You must choose your candidates based on their pumping history or lack there
of, their current activity or location, and the time of day.  I know you
prefer those who haven't had "help" in a while, or those who are in a
situation that makes dealing with a pumping issue difficult, or especially
those who are sleeping comfortably.  But I need to ask you why you have
chosen me?  Why I am I so special that you need to keep coming back?

--Sherry in Massachusetts

Dear Sherry in Massachusetts,
I am always excited when I receive fan mail.  I was so touched that you had
recognized my work and wanted to comment on it.  I get so frustrated when I
work so hard and people think it was because of their doing.  Somedays
instead of using my standard criteria I just randomly "help" people because
my usual workload gets boring.  However, to get to your question, the reason
I like to "help" you is because you look like someone who is working too
hard and needs some "help."  Since you are so special to me and because of
your fan letter, I will make a point to visit you more often.

-- The Pump Fairy

Dear Pump Fairy,
Thanks for returning my letter, however I think you misunderstood what I was
asking.  I wanted to know why you feel the need to "help" me.    I wish that
you wouldn't "help" me anymore.  Sometimes too much "help" is a bad thing.
So please stop visiting me especially during the night.   I really need my
precious uninterrupted sleep.  

-- Sherry in USA

Dear Sherry,
I am sorry that you misunderstood what I was saying.  The point is that I
will visit you more often because you don't want me there.  The people who
don't ask for "help" are the ones that need it more.  I have cleared my
schedule for tonight and am planning on stopping by so I can "help" you
exclusively.  Please don't wait up.

-- The Pump Fairy

Dear Pump Fairy,
Please don't visit tonight.  I was up late watching the Oscars last night so
I am tired. Oh and  I am planning on testing my basals tonight so your visit
will disrupt me from doing this.  Please reconsider, I have a slot open in
2005 if you want to schedule an appointment.  I am also looking into getting
a restraining order against you.  I am sure someone out there has figured an
effective way of keeping you from "helping" them.

-- Sherry in North America

Dear Pump Company,
I wanted to write and tell you my wishes for your new models of pumps.  I
have called and ask if you offer this for any current model but apparently
it is not yet available.  So I am requesting this as a new feature for the
near future.  Can your pumps come with a restraining order for the pump
fairy and possible a pump fairy proof casing for the pump and infusion set?
I know there are a lot of people out there who would really like this
feature.  Even if the pump costs a little more I know I would still pay more
for this.

Thank You,
Sherry in Massachusetts

Dear Sherry,
Our companies have looked into this feature but the cost of testing and
implementing this feature far exceed its usefulness.   If more people
contact us with requests for this feature we may reconsider.

The Pump Company

Dear Sherry,
I was so looking forward to our visit tonight.  However I have been notified
that there is a sweet, happy, sleeping child out there who needs my "help"
more.  I will try to visit you at work tomorrow instead.

-- The Pump Fairy

Dear IP List,
Be forewarned, sending letters to the pump fairy may not be a good idea.  I
thought if I played to the human side of the fairy I might get a good nights
sleep.  However the fairy thought of it more as a fan letter.  So if you
were writing a letter you may want to reconsider.  Thought I would let you