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[IP] charisma--parents/fear

Charisma wrote:  Are any of you ever so tired, just so completely
emotionally and physically drained that you are AFRAID to go look and see
if your child is still alive?  And have you ever thought, on the 400th
night up in a row, when you can't
possibly imagine you have one brain cell is left that is reliably
functioning, that IF your child is gone, he/she will still be gone in  a few
hours after some sleep?

Oh dear, Charisma--Do you mean like the time when Josh was about 4 and he,
his sister, and I were at Pizza Hut waiting for our pizza to arrive and he
kept WHINING about how hungry he was, and I said something like "We're all
hungry, give me a break!"  And he went into an insulin reaction seizure
because he was having an insulin reaction and I was tired, hungry, (and
possibly a little low myself) and didn't recognize the signs?

Or the time I was putting everything back in my new cupboards after a week
of kitchen remodeling and we were going to have our snacks "as soon as I
finish this shelf" and .... he had an insulin reaction and his sister was
the one who figured it out?

We're human.  Sometimes we're tired, sometimes we're distracted or busy or
disorganized or even low ourselves.  But we love our kids and we do the
best we can with our limited human resources.  Your thought processes may
seem horrible to your rational mind, but there is a big difference between
getting a regular night's sleep (or not recognizing every insulin reaction
that happens in 15 years!) and being abusive or neglectful or whatever
negative label you might be thinking about yourself.

Don't beat yourself up.  You're not alone, and no one else has the right to
judge our occasional lapses in pure and perfect parenting (LOL!!) unless
you're talking about hurting your child deliberately, which I do not
believe you could/would EVER do!  And--believe it or not--your child will
grow up, and things will get easier, and eventually they leave us behind
and do it all on their own.  (Gasp!  That same little boy is graduating
from high school in June, and I've really GOT to get used to the idea
pretty soon!) 

Sorry this is so delayed--I've been traveling but I HAD to respond cause
I've been there, done that, and have a few emotional scars to prove it!!

:)  Doreen in Wyoming

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