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[IP] Fear and apology
> should have read the original post before I opened my big
> mouth. I'm sorry.
that's ok....you expressed how YOU felt...c'est la vie...I feel the same as
you, but every so often I just have to wonder how my parents felt when i was
a kid...they don't talk about it much...and I don't ask...my dad, when asked,
said he did his crying in private....he sure didn't show it...don't think he
could have injected me if my life depended on it...well, it did depend on
it...good thing mom was tough enough.
> Being diabetic is so hard at times: dealing with insurance,
> getting upset when pharmacies don't have any Humalog...having
> to take that extra shower so you can change your infusion set,
> having people stare at you in public while you test or shoot up.
Yes it IS hard, but that is life! You HAVE to be tough to even exist as a
"normal" person (and I use that term loosely). Think how much stronger you
are, overall, because of diabetes? Think of the nutrition knowledge yo have,
the familarity with biology, body chemistry, etc. If you ever have kids, and
they break their arm riding a horse and you have to take them to ER, you will
KNOW how to deal with the insurance company - you won't take crap from
anyone! Yes, it sucks ALOT, and YES insurance worries keep me up at night,
but at least you learn something!
As for "no Humalog on hand"...don't stress about that - there are yukkier
things than that to worry about!!! Velosulin or plain old regular can be
used in the pump - you
just have to re-adjust your timing a little bit...but it shouldn't be a big
concern...I know...just another little thing adding to the pile of
As for the "extra shower"...that is another extra thing you can probably
eliminate. Just get a washcloth, some soap and water and voila...your entire
body doesn't need to be clean...just a square inch or so...or just use plain
old alcohol to wipe some of the surface gunk off, and skin prep - unless you
are super susceptible, or roll around in a slop pile, I wouldn't worry about
As for people staring...if they are rude enough to do it...hell with them!!
Let them get their cheap jollies. If it grosses them out...who cares...maybe
they will learn something! My mama taught me not to stare at mentally or
physically challenged people, or breast feedng women, or pooping
dogs...surely a little poke on the finger is no more distracting than that?
I mean, unless you make a BIG PRODUCTION out of it...I can test walking down
the street...standing in the subway, on an escalator. Some people need to
lay out their stuff...get that alcohol wipe out, change the lancet, blah blah
blah...i just whip out the pokey and let it rip...
> You don't know how many times I have cried
oh YEAH, i do...probably as much as me, and EVERYONE else on the list, even
> it would just be easier to pump myself full of insulin and just
> go to sleep and hope no one finds me until they can't save me.
if it was so easy, I think there would be a LOT fewer diabetics in general.
No one LIKES diabetes...well except maybe MNMD, Disetronic and Eli Lilly,
but then I don't like cauliflower either...I am not gonna kill myself cause I
don't like cauliflower, and I hope you won't cause you don't like diabetes,
and so does your mama and daddy and loved ones! Diabetes is not easy but
then neither is Life. Life is not fair. anyone that says different is
trying to sell something.
> I would fail everyone who has help
> bring me to where I am today:
don't not kill yourself for THEM....Don't do if for you!!! Kiddo, it is YOUR
life...your parents birthed ya, the doctors diagnosed you, the specialists
prodded you...in the end, YOU are the one who has to endure the burden, the
responsibility, and make the choices!
To quote something I wrote here a while back:
" My struggle with diabetes began when I went on the pump - I am now the
MASTER of an unwilling beast who keeps trying to rear its ugly head and
control my life - by making my eyes bleed or whatever. But before then, it
was no struggle to eat a box of cookies, take 20 units of regular by syringe
and if I felt like crap a few hours later, I'd take some more...or eat more
cookies when I crashed. The struggle is now "how am I going to defeat it
TODAY so I can eat cold sesame noodles and some Oreos???" I make myself test
and do the things I know I am supposed to do, so that I can eat what I want
and sleep in when I want and tell doctors to go take a flying leap when I
You have the power Kate, and the control. Keep up hte good work!
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