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[IP] Fears

To all who have to deal with this disease-- we are the only ones who really 
know what it is like.  My husband of 25 years, (since we were 17 and 19!)has 
had IDDM since age 11.  Most of those 25 years I have lived in fear of many 
things.  I don't sleep at night for fear he'll die while I sleep and I won't 
wake up.  Our kids(11 and 8) are afraid to spend the night anywhere because 
if daddy has a convulsive reaction in the night they won't be there to help 
me.  I don't want to be a widow, and I don't want to raise our children 
alone.  I never, for any reason, am away from him at night.  Once when he 
was hospitalized, the nurse wanted his BG to be <120 at bedtime.  I tried to 
explain that it would be too low later on-- but I'm only the wife!!  I 
called at 1:00 A.M. and asked them to please keep an eye on him because he 
was on the second floor.  At 6:00 A.M. his BG was <10 and they couldn't 
apologise enough! We all know what works at our houses and need to feel good 
about ourselves!  We stay in close contact during the day so I can hear his 
voice and know he's okay.  It is okay for us to be afraid, and to get tired 
of this horrible disease!  I can't know what it would be like to have a 
child with it, but it has to be a living hell sometimes. It's a million 
percent better since the pump, but I don't think I will ever get over that 
horrible fear that comes with the territory.  Thanks for listening!

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