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Re: [IP] To PARENTS--a LONG post about fear

Charisma, I am not a parent of a Diabetic.  I have had Diabetes for 33
years.  I am not going to say that I know what it is like to have a Diabetic
child.  I have witnessed the fear that you are talking about in the eyes of
my wife as I wake and wonder why she is up.  Or I wake up in a ER room with
nurses saying I can't get one, there are no veins,  I then see Nancy looking
at me with such agony and wondering if I will make it.

There have been many times in the last 30 some years that I figured it was
easier to run elevated blood sugars so my family, my parents or my Wife or
my kids did not have to feel what you are talking about.  One thing I have
figured out is that each and everyone of them really care and wanted to do
what ever it took to help and to protect me.  I helped to take care of my
father who had Diabetes for 25 years.  He had most of the complications.  We
all understood he could get violent if his blood sugar got low he may do or
say things that he was not aware of.  Three years before he died he went on
Kidney Dialysis at home.  My mother worked every day to get ready to put him
on the machine three time a week until she was getting so tired she could
hardly do more.  I was in my second year in college when I convinced her and
the doctors I could run the machine.  That I could be trained to do it.  She
was concerned still and would watch and sit with him just the same.  He died
in my arms during what I thought was an insulin reaction but really his
heart just quit.  This was before all the tools for checking blood sugars
and taking care of Diabetes that we have now.   The point I am trying to
make is that it is right to feel the way you do, to have the fears and tears
you have.  All I would say is to do what my parents did was to make sure
your child learns how to take care of Diabetes.  It is the Diabetics
responsibility to take care of it.  It is our responsibility to train our
kids what they need to know how to do the things to survive in life  weather
it is in the work place or in there personal lives.

I have had a few low times about being Diabetic myself but my absolute worst
fear in the world has been if one of my Daughters would get it.  I have
cried more about the thought of that, than anything that has happened to me
with Diabetes to me.  I am very fortunate to not have any real problems
because of my Diabetes.

We can all be very thankful for what has happened to the care of Diabetes.
I feel I was in the dark ages when I went to one of my 5 or 6 diabetic
classes to see what was new.  I did this last July and learned about Humalog
and because we did not have time to discuss pumps I got phone numbers for
MiniMed and Disatronics to contact them.  With three months on Humalog and
three months on a pump.  I now feel I am using the most current method of
treatment.  I am sure within the next five years it will even be easier to
take care of Diabetes and maybe we will even have a cure in short time.  We
all need to just keep are selves informed.  We need to take no stupid
answers from insurance companies or schools.  We need to demand what is best
for ourselves.  I realy do think there are a lot of people who are facinated
and willing to learn about Diabetes but only if we all train them.  Everyone
knows someone who has been effected by this.

I have gone on long enough,  Charisma remember I think we all understand
what you are saying and feeling.

Tom Carlson, email @ redacted

-----Original Message-----
From: email @ redacted <email @ redacted>
To: email @ redacted <email @ redacted>
Date: Thursday, March 23, 2000 3:27 AM
Subject: [IP] To PARENTS--a LONG post about fear

>Ok parents,  I am afraid.  I mean, not biting off more than I can chew, or
>buying myself future troubles here.......
>But I have an intimate question, and PLEASE do not think I am a horrible
>mother for saying this.
>First off, I have gotten past the "oh, I am such a horrid mother" stage for
>leaving supplies behind, and other "it happens" sort of things.  I am sure
>am going to get to go through that again as applies to pump, but it will
>Never forget the day, about two months after he was dx'd I got us on the
>for a long day out, a fun one, and halfway to town realized I had no D
>supplies; or the day I got us up and proceeded with a pre-D normal day.  He
>ate no breakfast,  we snacked  until about 1pm when I SUDDENLY
>remembered---HE IS DIABETIC!!!!  AAAAAA  It had completely slipped my mind.
>WEIRD sensation.
>So I am guessing you are all wondering why I have called you here.......
>Are any of you ever so tired, just so completely emotionally and physically
>drained that you are AFRAID to go look and see if your child is still
>And have you ever thought, on the 400th night up in a row, when you can't
>possibly imagine you have one brain cell is left that is reliably
>functioning, that IF your child is gone, he/she will still be gone in  a
>hours after some sleep?
>I NEVER  EVER DO leave him....just have had those thoughts a couple of
>times.  But it makes me feel TERRIBLY guilty as a person to even just have
>thought them.  What horrible part of a person's mind could think that kind
>of thought about another person, but ESPECIALLY a helpless child?   My OWN
>I guess some days the whole diabetes just becomes more than I can think
>about handling for another second, and I wonder how he does it.  I don't
>feel guilty about that much, but I feel my thought processes have taken
>themselves to the extreme and back at times.
>Anyone else?  Even just one parent on here so I don't feel so much like
>Hitler in the morning???  Cause I can't go on reading posts from you folks
>if I am the only complete flake on the list.
>Charisma   ^.  .^
>                     m
>(that is me, biting my fingernails, waiting anxiously)
>>  It is scary to hear what  it might be like for my daughter when she has
>had those horrible lows.  She
>> did a 26 on us once....was that ever fun!
>for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
>send a DONATION http://www.Insulin-Pumpers.org/donate.shtml

for HELP or to subscribe/unsubscribe, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org
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