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[IP] Re: LONG post about fear

   I cried through the entire post. Almost couldn't finish reading it.
They were bittersweet tears. I was so happy that I was not the only one
who has thought those things. SOOOO happy......
and so sad that any parent should ever have to feel that way.
I can't tell you how many times the alarm has gone off at 3 am, and I
just didn't want to get up. Your mind is weird at 3 am. I told myself
that if I had lost him in the night, he would still be gone at 7 am.
I always do get up, some days more grudgingly that others. Some days
I stay awake until 3, eagerly awaiting that test.  
   This is an exhausting disease, not just for the parents, but the siblings,
the grandparents, the aunts and uncles, and the child himself.
I am so grateful that I have all these people in my life willing to take
some of the exhaustion from me once in a while. I'm even going out for
dinner and a play on my birthday (April 1st). We're seeing Cabaret. Can't
   So, my sister in arms, know that you are not alone. You are no less
a mother, you are all the more human.


Mom to JayJay
born 2/13/98, dx'd 1/31/99
...sweet as ever
p.s. email privately anytime. That's for all you moms out there, too.

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