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[IP] damn damn damn

ARGHHHHHHHHH!!  if you don't want to listen to a vent, I suggest you go to the
next message cuz this one is BAD!!!!!

I am so frustrated with this F***ING disease!!!!  As most of you know, my eyes
have been bleeding pretty much nonstop for the past few years, despite A1cs in
the los 7s and upper 6s...espite not lifting and bending too uch, sleeping
with my head elevated, blah, blah.  As the "most kind" eye doctors point out,
yes, i know the bad control in my early years "let the horse outta the barn"
and yada yada yada. I bleed and clearn bleed and clear...according to my
doctor this is NOT new vessel growth, and hasnt been for a while, which
indiactes good control  However, my vitreous is pulling away from my retina,
which causes the bleeds...kinda like when you pick at a scab....

comparatively relaxed, but by no means LAX, control due to the demands of my
job,  and for the past week or so, I am back on my more strict
regime...working out, logging, eating better, testing more than 8 times a
day...avoiding lows...FEELING GREAT,. So is that why NOW my Freaking eye
decides to bleed again!??!?!?!  I was jsut sitting here trying to figure out
why AOL wouldnt let me read my mail...My bs is 145, I didnt pick up anything
today other than my purse, I am not stressed - in fact I am HAPPY (if you can
believe that...). It is 60 degrees, the sun in shining, it is a gorgeous
day!!! It hadn't bled since mid December...It was almost clear - I was
thinking about how I might be able to drive when I go to a wedding in
Louisiana in May...I was thinking I might spend some money and get new
glasses, now that it was clear enough to have a realistic exam...I was
thinking how nice it was not to bump my head into kitchen cabinets cuz I
could see them...and a dozen other things that I put on HOLD because of my eye
- becausse of diabetes..

I am just venting...Don't ANYONE tell me it could be worse - I could be
completely blind, I could be in a wheelchair, I could be on dialysis, I could
be on an iron lung, I could be skinny, beautiful and rich.  dont you think I
know that?  But right now, right here, THIS is worst thing and I am pissed.

not to mention the fact that I havent met my deductible yet for the year soI
am gonna have to fork it out if I go see the doctor...

damn damn damn damn

Sara *-( =B xoxx~~~[507]
(sara with her blind eye, sad frown, long neck, droopy boobs, scar around her
belly button and her 507 on short tubing.....)

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