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Re: : [IP] Trouble with diabetes

> Diane wrote:
>  But if you love someone with D, don't
> hesitate to assume some of the burden of the care of diabetes....it
> is possible.  And I think it makes a difference. 
>  ....even right down to changing the pump
> for the person or taking the blood sugar readings or keeping the
> log. 

There is a middle ground here. I'm the parent of a diabetic youngster 
named Lily. She is 15 now and pretty much in control of all aspects 
of her diabetes (since about age 13). She was dx'd right after her 
11th birthday. Until we discovered the pump, thing were pretty tough 
as they are for others on MDI. Her mom and I were determined that she 
should have a better deal than that. The pump was to tool to make 
that freedom available. Our responsibility as parents was to enable 
our child to regain the freedoms she once had before diabetes.

To use the politically correct term, this is "empowering" our 
daughter to control her own life. We did not push her or make her 
life difficult, but simply "expected" her to learn about diabetes, 
control, testing, etc.... The subject matter is different, but it is 
not any different than expecting her to learn about English, 
mathematics, history, or many other subjects that are presented daily 
in her school. We were always there for her. Calculating, recording, 
measuring, but at the same time teaching, and most of all "expecting" 
her to learn these things for herself. And you know what? she did it. 
Lily is completely independent at this point. She only continues to 
expect one thing, that I will greet her at 2:30 in the morning with a 
friendly "please check honey bunny so dad can go back to sleep". That 
is her security blanket. With all else she is comfortable, 
knowledgable and independent. What does she do when she's not home. I 
don't know. She takes an alarm clock with her that she sets to 2:30, 
but I'm pretty sure it doesn't wake her up. She sleeps like the dead.

> I have to kinda disagree with this.  I was diagnosed at 8, and at
> that time i was not able to make the snap decisions i make now, at
> 22 in regard to D. My mom controlled everything, from calling my dr,
> talking to the dr at my appt, and i said nothing, adjusting my
> insulin, adjusting my meal plan, to not allowing me to test anywhere
> else but the kitchen/dining room table in front of her.

It is important that our diabetic children have a sense of self and  
control or there lives. They were robbed of that when they were 
dx'd. It's our job as parents to restore this to them by giving them 
the tools to control their own destiny. In this case it is simply the 
eductation about diabetes necessary for them to care for themselves 
in our absence and the knowledge that what they do is correct and 
safe. We can do that by watching carefully and quietly, intervening 
only when it is necessary with a small correction or words of 
encouragement and praise. Clearly there is an age where this is 
appropriate, but we must push ourselves to release as much control as 
humanly possible and put it in the hands of these "little people" 
because that is the only way they can be truly free of this disease 
until there really is a cure. 

>  College:  My mother would call me at school at LEAST once a week so
> i could not only report my sugars to her, but also fax them to my
> dr. SLOWLY she has peeled away, now that i am 22, engaged, have a
> BS, working in a real job with benefits, and now I paid for the pump
> with MY insurance.

Good for you.

> Sorry about the vent, but i hope this helps some of you parents...
> and kids..  I do love my mom very much, and we have a great
> realtionship now, and have for awhile.  :)

Vent away, this needs to be discussed.

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