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: [IP] Trouble with diabetes

Diane wrote:
	But if you love someone with D, don't
hesitate to assume some of the burden of the care of diabetes....it is
possible.  And I think it makes a difference. 
	....even right down to changing the pump
for the person or taking the blood sugar readings or keeping the log. 

I have to kinda disagree with this.  I was diagnosed at 8, and at that
time i was not able to make the snap decisions i make now, at 22 in regard
to D. My mom controlled everything, from calling my dr, talking to the dr
at my appt, and i said nothing, adjusting my insulin, adjusting my meal
plan, to not allowing me to test anywhere else but the kitchen/dining room
table in front of her.  I was fortunate enough to go to camp throught hte
Northern Illinois Affiliate of the ADA, and they have an AWESOME program.
and throught them, i learned how to adjust my insulin, and know how and
when to make changes.  When i woudl speak up at dr appts or to my mom
about changes, they would discredit them, because they did not see me as
the diabetic, or the PERSON WITH the diabetes, the PERSON who LIVES wiht
	It was not until i was 14 or 15 years old, a sophomore in HS
(dating another Diabetic that i met at camp..) that i just took MY meter,
and MY syringes and MY insulin up to my room and said "there is not going
to be an audience tonight when i do my sugar"  My mother was, well PO'ed
and told me that i was ogni to fail  and my control wou dlnever be as good
as it woudl if she were controlling it yadda yadda yadda.  The fact was is
i had been D for almost 6 or 7 years and i had no control, it was not MINE
and i had to jump in wtih both feet.  Then it was not until she cooled
down a good 2 years later, that i said to her in the dr office.  Wait out
here, i am going in myself.  I was  Senior in HS and i was 17 years old,
and my dr presented the pump to me at that time, and suggested that i go
on it due to my chaiotic lifestyle.. so i presented it to my mom and she
she immediately got on the defense of "look what happens when you go in
there alone, you get talked into things tha twe cannot afford."  i jsut
wanted to talk.
	College:  My mother would call me at school at LEAST once a week
so i could not only report my sugars to her, but also fax them to my dr.
SLOWLY she has peeled away, now that i am 22, engaged, have a BS, working
in a real job with benefits, and now I paid for the pump with MY
	She tries to discredit my dr here in Iowa with her tone of voice
and her non verbal responses (ie silence, and sighs).  But i have come to
accept the fact that she is my mom and i lvoe her very much, but  the way
i see it is that when i was a sophomore in HS, i stripped diabetes away
from her, it was something she controlled of mine, and consequently, it
taught me if i want to hurt my mom more than anything or get back at her
for ANYTHING i coudl forget a shot, or eat a candy bar, or skip a meal and
i now realize that it probably was hurting me more than anything, but i
almost believe that it hurt her more.
	I also work wtih a kid who is IDDM, and his mom is really
overbearing in his life (outside of D too) and he hates it.  I also know
people who love to be coddled and take no responsibilty for themselves.
But it kinda dependson the person.  I guess what i am trying to say is
that make sure it is what your daughter wants.  Make sure the
communication is both ways.  I guarentee you those first few years of HS
if you asked my mom she would tell you that i wanted ehr to control
everything, and the truth is it took alot of coaching from my friends to
get the nerve to confront her, i tried many time and the subj changed.  I
do not regret what i did.  It is just something i kinda resent my mom for.
I know she was doing it out of love, but just step wisely.

Sorry about the vent, but i hope this helps some of you parents... and
kids..  I do love my mom very much, and we have a great realtionship now,
and have for awhile.  :)


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