[Previous Months][Date Index][Thread Index][Join - Register][Login]
[Message Prev][Message Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]

Re: [IP] Trouble admitting problems "doing" DM or hearing about people having problems?...WHY!!!?

email @ redacted wrote:
> I was amazed at the negative responses when someone posted about a doctor
> stating he would commit suicide if diagnosed with DM.  Saying "DM isn't 
> thatbad" doesn't change a very real emotional response - other than making 
> it NOT OK to talk about. (snip)  My only real thoughts about attempting 
> suicide came over 31 years ago
> within a few days of being diagnosed with DM...  I know that for some of you
> suicide is not an option, BUT I am also sure there are a few of you at some
> point in your life it seemed like a very real option...

Well, having had very detailed suicidal thoughts, not related to DM,
several times in my life, I must say that if a person with DM is having
them, there is something else besides DM going on -- maybe clinical
depression -- and that person really needs to get help. 

The DM ISN'T the cause of the suicidal impulse -- a brain chemical
disorder is, and DM is only an excuse. If it weren't DM, it would be
something else. 

Moral of story: if you're feeling that bad, PLEASE get help! 
> I also know of more than a few people (including those on pumps), myself
> included, who have stopped or greatly reduced their diabetes management 
> actions for periods of time, in spite of the possible consequences.

Been there, done that. I don't think taking a DM vacation is such a bad
thing if you keep it within bounds. Short periods of high BGs are not
going to kill you, as long as you take care to stay out of ketoacidosis. 

The times I've taken DM vacations, the icky symptoms rapidly drive me
back to taking care of myself. 

Part of the reason I do this is that I don't want to believe I actually
HAVE DM -- I wasn't supposed to get it!!!!! When I'm in good control, I
feel SO normal that I start thinking it's gone away while I wasn't
looking -- isn't that what the popular press says -- lose weight and
it'll go away??  Well, I lost weight (17% of body weight, and not obese
to begin with) and it didn't go away, but every so often I have to prove
it to myself.

I figure that if this is a part of my psyche, then OK, I'm going to do
it, and I'm also going to forgive myself in advance for it -- maybe I'm
a slow learner, but at least I'll give myself the opportunity to figure
it out!
> How many of you are afraid to post BG averages because of the responses you
> think you might get...  We might also find that we aren't the only ones 
> having high averages it we take the first couragous step of mentioning it...

On the other hand, maybe everyone thinks it's a given that high BGs
happen, and that's just part of having DM. 

I certainly agree that it's futile to strive for perfection and then
beat yourself up for failing to achieve it -- this is a Forever War --
not winnable. And it's a hassle, too -- even the pump and the BG
spreadsheets don't take the work out of it. 

So here's the serenity part -- to accept the things we can't change. 

(I have a vaginal/urinary infection -- it's SATURDAY and I can't see the
doc until Monday -- haven't eaten in 6 hours, bolused extra an hour ago,
and BG is STILL 170 -- and I'm going out to eat sushi with my brother
and his family! You think this is perfection????)   :) 
> Why does it seem OK to make ice cream or candy "runs" when a group of us 
> (most with diabetes) get together - and noone seems to even question the 
> action?

Because we're human??????

> How do you feel when another person talks about having problems managing 
> their DM?

Intense compassion!

> Have any of you had problems dealing with DM and not felt safe talking 
> about the problems?

Yes, but it's because my DM is a strange type, I have other health
issues, and others often have trouble understanding why I get concerned.
So they brush me off. 
> Why does it seem that with DM there is so much talk about the way it 
> "should be done" and so little about the way it is really done?...

I think on the lists, there is a LOT of talk about the way it's really
done -- and even more, private e-mail. 
> At times I've said "I've had enough" related to DM and continued putting one
> foot in front of the other  (snip) 

I don't think you're alone, ya know!!!!

> What is your most difficult problem living with DM?

I hate being symptomatic, and I'm very sensitive to symptoms -- I get
symptoms of high BGs at levels where other people wouldn't have a clue.
So I often don't quite feel well. 
> Are you ever angry about having DM but unwilling to acknowledge the anger?

Oh yes, but my anger tends to come out as depression (you read the part
above), and I'm mad at my family for laying a heavy guilt trip on me!
> Do you ever think you're the only one having a specific problem dealing with
> DM? It takes courage to ask but there will probably be more than a couple
> people having a similar problem...

Yeah, and when I've asked, guess what, I AM the only one having that
problem!!!  :S  Or else I just get ignored because no one knows anything
about what I'm asking.
> At times I feel bad about my DM management, even as I'm being told I'm doing
> great...  Bet I'm not the only one!   Anyone ever think that there might be
> something missing from the way DM is treated...

Oh, yes on that one too -- remember I'm the original low A1c girl.....

You knew you'd get a response from me, eh????  :)

Smiles and hugs,

._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c-  

Natalie A. Sera, with all her ducks in a row!
Type Weird, "official" insulin start-up next Wednesday!
mailto:email @ redacted

._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c-  ._c- ._(` ._c- ._c- ._c- ._c-  
  Can YOU find the ugly duckling? (hint: It's NOT the pumperduck!!)

Insulin Pumpers website http://www.insulin-pumpers.org/
for mail subscription assistance, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org