[Previous Months][Date Index][Thread Index][Join - Register][Login]
[Message Prev][Message Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]

Re: [IP] Trouble admitting problems "doing" DM or hearing about people having problems?...WHY!!!?

Thanks for the tears I have just cried, I needed them.  There are people like "me"
who understands how I feel. Thanks again!!

email @ redacted wrote:

> (with minor changes - originally written in 1996)
> Hi All,
> I haven't posted much recently, but on this overcast day I am going to attempt
> to start a philosophical discussion...
> Over the last few years on several lists and in group settings, the "OUTWARD
> APPEARANCE" is that very few people have difficulty "DOING" DM... (dealing with
> it emotionally...)
> When the "having difficulty" subjects come up they seem to either get very few
> responses or a lot of "try these mechanics" suggestions...
> A couple years ago I asked Arturo (MD with diabetes mailing list): "If you were
> diagnosed with DM do you think you could do what was required to manage it?"
> (probably not exact wording, but close)   I gained a lot of respect for Arturo
> when he answered that he thought he would have problems managing DM.
> I was amazed at the negative responses when someone posted about a doctor
> stating he would commit suicide if diagnosed with DM.  Saying "DM isn't that
> bad" doesn't change a very real emotional response - other than making it NOT
> OK to talk about.  I know of 3 DM acquaintenances who at one point during their
> DM life did actually attempt suicide because of their feelings related to the
> DM.   My only real thoughts about attempting suicide came over 31 years ago
> within a few days of being diagnosed with DM...  I know that for some of you
> suicide is not an option, BUT I am also sure there are a few of you at some
> point in your life it seemed like a very real option...
> I also know of more than a few people (including those on pumps), myself
> included, who have stopped or greatly reduced their diabetes management actions
> for periods of time, in spite of the possible consequences.
> How many of you are afraid to post BG averages because of the responses you
> think you might get...  We might also find that we aren't the only ones having
> high averages it we take the first couragous step of mentioning it...
> I know there are more than one person who were on diet only and were "starving
> themselves" to keep from going on medication... Or simply stopped testing the
> BG because it was always "too high".
> Why does it seem OK to make ice cream or candy "runs" when a group of us (most
> with diabetes) get together - and noone seems to even question the action?
> Might the group "make it" OK to act on unspoken desires???...
> How do you feel when another person talks about having problems managing their
> DM?
> Have any of you had problems dealing with DM and not felt safe talking about
> the problems?
> Why does it seem that with DM there is so much talk about the way it "should be
> done" and so little about the way it is really done?...
> At times I've said "I've had enough" related to DM and continued putting one
> foot in front of the other...  bought the half-gallon of ice cream and eaten
> most of it...  Only tested once a day... purchased and eaten the half or full
> dozen donuts...  not acknowledged the hypo because I was "too busy"... not
> taken the injection and eaten anyway...   been very lax and gotten "good"
> results...  been compulsive and gotten "bad" results...  blamed myself for not
> "doing" DM better...  thrown insulin bottles across the room in frustration...
> attempted to "play darts" with syringes...cried because I don't want to have
> DM...  used DM as an excuse for not going to food related social gatherings...
> felt hurt during office meetings when everything had sugar (lots...) and would
> not admit it was a problem...   been very angry about having DM...   &&&&&&
> At times I haven't made the best decisions and I have no regrets...
> DM sucks...  BUT so do the thorns on a beautiful rose if you run into them the
> "wrong way"...
> What is your most difficult problem living with DM?
> Are you ever angry about having DM but unwilling to acknowledge the anger?
> Do you ever think you're the only one having a specific problem dealing with
> DM? It takes courage to ask but there will probably be more than a couple
> people having a similar problem...
> At times I feel bad about my DM management, even as I'm being told I'm doing
> great...  Bet I'm not the only one!   Anyone ever think that there might be
> something missing from the way DM is treated...
> DM control is simple (in theory) and definitely NOT EASY to achieve... (even
> using a pump)
> Picked up at another time and place but still valid:
> Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
> Courage to change the things I can
> And the wisdom to know the difference...
> Jim S.                          (type I, pump since 08/94, dx 10/09/65)
> mailto:email @ redacted
> ----------------------------------------------------------
> Insulin Pumpers website http://www.insulin-pumpers.org/
> for mail subscription assistance, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org

Insulin Pumpers website http://www.insulin-pumpers.org/
for mail subscription assistance, contact: HELP@insulin-pumpers.org